What Not To Do at a Restaurant Table

Today's post was inspired by a friend's Facebook status update that I read last night regarding her dinner out with her hubby. It went a little something like this.... " L and I are at a restaurant having dinner and this well dressed couple comes in and sits at a booth across from us. The lady pulls out a brush and proceeds to brush her hair at the table-what??!

I think this is proof that being well dressed and even possessing a wealth of money cannot buy you class. It is also evidence that most of us still have areas to improve upon it the manners and etiquette department. Some things just appear so innocent like swiping your lips with a wand of lip gloss to freshen up your color after a meal or in this case, grooming one's hair before dinner. Essentially, anything that resembles grooming activities that you would normally perform in your bathroom at home are off limits at a dinner table whether it be at a restaurant, dinner party or elsewhere.

This got me to thinking about all of those seemingly harmless things that so many do at tables all across the globe on a daily basis, offending others along the way. Some have become common place and seem less taboo such as having a cell phone on the table, however I think we can all agree it's still a no-no. Below is a short list of what not to do.

1. Picking teeth with a toothpick, business card corner or a fingernail- if you must use a toothpick, be sure to do so after the meal once you've left the table, preferably in the restroom. Your best bet is to carry a small roll of floss in your handbag and reach for it while you freshen up in the ladies room after a meal or mid-meal if you can feel a large piece of food or spice lodged between your teeth which could become a conversational distraction to you and others.

2. Lip gloss or Lipstick re-application is something that women seem to do in public in a variety of places but it's best avoided at the table as with all other personal grooming habits-take it to the ladies room. Some may argue that if they don't need to use liner, don't require a compact mirror and can do it in a flash that it's not a big deal. Please see tip #5 regarding the mystery of a lady.

3. Smoking is acceptable and welcomed at many cafes, restaurant patios and in some venues however this is a no-no at the table when others are eating and drinking. I assure you, nobody wants to look at an ash tray with cigarette butts and ashes on the table nor do they care to breathe in the toxic plume while they're enjoying the array of flavors before them. Even if everyone is finished their final course, it is still appropriate and most considerate to smoke outside away from company in a well ventilated area away from others coming and away from busy restaurant front entrance. If you happen to smoke, read more tips on the post I wrote about smoking etiquette.

4. Nails and hands in general can carry a lot of germs. Never bite fingernails, pick at them, file them and absolutely under no circumstances would you apply nail polish to them at the table. If you need to file a chipped or torn nail, the restroom once again is the place to be.

5. Makeup application such as a quick powder of the nose or blotting paper should be done in private. Not only is it impolite at the table but it is not ladylike, a classy woman never gives away her beauty enhancement secrets at the table while in the company of other women or men.  There is a sense of mystery to beauty that is lost when we choose to reveal such details by putting them on display.

6. Chewing gum needs to be disposed of before sitting down to a meal. If you find yourself with gum in your mouth after you've sat down, be sure to excuse yourself to the restroom to remove it and wash your hands thereafter. Many will gently spit chewing gum into a napkin or take the wad of gum out of their mouth with their hands and put it into a napkin but that is not sanitary and nobody at the table wants those images before they eat.

7. Cell phones should remain off at the table. Some say vibrate mode is appropriate while dining but it will only trigger the person carrying it to look and see and possibly attempt to text or respond to the alert in some way. If it's a business lunch among colleagues and everyone agrees to the protocol, it is acceptable however others in the restaurant don't care to hear your phone conversations so in my mind even that's still off limits. The best bet in any environment, if you're going to take the time to 'do lunch' or enjoy a meal with others is to turn it off completely where you won't be tempted to become distracted and turn off those who you're dining with. There are of course exceptions to every rule as in the case of cell phone etiquette, for both parents who have left their children and in someone else's care or the husband/significant other of a woman who is expecting should set to vibrate.

8. Touching one's nose, blowing one's noses and even sneezing or coughing need to be done in private with a tissue in hand, the restroom again is the place to go to avoid spreading germs.

9. Passing wind in either form is completely forbidden at the table however I'm amazed at how many still do it, namely belching. In some culture's it's considered to be a compliment to the chef! While that may be fine in other countries, in North America it most certainly is not. It's disgusting to both those you are dining with and others who have to bear witness to it.

10. Hair brushing (which of course was the prompt for today's post) or even combing seems harmless but stray hairs can come out while primping and a restaurant is an environment where food is served to many, it is never appropriate to groom your hair or even re-position hair clips at the table where hair could end up on your own or another person's table or in their food.

Do you want more etiquette tips on dining out? Take a peek at some of my previous posts here:

Table Etiquette

Restaurant Tipping Etiquette

Where to Place Your Handbag When Dining Out

Reader Request: Is it Ever Okay to Take Food From Another Person's Plate?

Have you ever dined out and found yourself in the presence of someone doing something that should not be done at a restaurant table? Feel free to share it in the comments below, I'd love to hear your own experiences!

Thanks for Reading!

XO




*image source

A Classy Woman is Confident

When I was a teen my mother and I would shop together for clothing quite a bit and because we were the same height with the same overall frame, we could share and essentially expand our wardrobe as a result which was a huge bonus. While I have memories of fun trips to the mall of us getting some great deals, carrying our shopping bags in the crook of our arm while eating frozen yogurt together and laughing, I also have other memories. I remember my mom trying on outfits and because of her youthful appearance for her age many sales clerks would think we were sisters often telling her she looked far too young to have a daughter my age. While some might see it as an ego boost, I think all this flattery may have gone to her head as she became even more engrossed in her physical appearance. She would often ask: "Does this dress make me look fat?" When I replied with a NO, she'd say, "Are you sure? Do you think I look too old for this?"

Even at that age I found her lack of confidence in the 'dressing' department and need for such constant validation as it pertained to how she looked quite annoying and not at all something that I wanted to emulate. I promised myself I wouldn't be that woman with my friends or my significant other. To this day she tends to still fuss about and obsess over her physical appearance to the point of dressing much younger than her age. It's hard to live in the present moment and enjoy the company around you when you're focused on yourself all the time. Besides, what man is attracted to a woman without confidence and who constantly second guesses herself and her decisions? I also knew that the last thing I'd want to do it point out my areas that may have needed a bit of improvement. It's always more fun to focus on the areas which you feel best about.

We've all had friends or other ladies in our life who have asked that dreaded question: "Does this make me look fat?" and to this question I have the following reply below as it pertains to being a classy woman.

Part of being a classy woman includes being a confident woman who is decisive in her choices-that is one of her most attractive qualities! She isn't wishy-washy and always asking others for their opinion nor does she require their validation. She takes the time to learn about and appreciate herself, others and the things which are important to her so she can make the best decisions possible with boldness and without regret!

Did anyone else grow up with a mother or friend who always asked this question. How did you respond and what did you take away from their behavior?

Thanks for Reading!

XO

There is Joy in Being a True Lady

Today's post is a gentle reminder on what it means to be a classy woman. None of us are born ladies, we must choose our actions, words and behavior wisely every day. How we come across to others is our responsibility and it shows them a lot about the kind of woman we are. This does not mean that a classy woman is perfect or without mistakes, rather she reflects on her missteps and decides to do something different or better each day. This can begin with the thoughts in our head; the actions and words that are spoken as a result of the things we meditate on, the way we choose to present ourselves to the world in the way we dress or the way in which we treat others than can do absolutely nothing for us. There is something so special about a woman who knows what she wants but has a gentle and quiet spirit.

As women we can be anything that we wish to be, but above all the many roles and aspirations we pursue, I hope you'll choose everyday to become a feminine and classy woman, there is so much pride and joy in being a true lady. :)

What is one of the things you enjoy about being a lady?

Thanks for reading!

XO

Manners Monday: Asking about Marriage & Babies

I originally had a different topic planned for today's Manners Monday post but after seeing the reader response on Facebook, I thought going into further detail was a good idea. If you follow The Classy Woman community on Facebook, you'll see that today I posted a Classy Tip of the Day (something I started doing a few weeks ago a few times per week) about the importance of not putting people on the spot with personal questions that they may not be prepared to answer or even know the answer to themselves. This is what I wrote:

"A lady doesn't ask couples who are dating when they're getting married. Similarly, she doesn't ask married couples when or if they're planning to have a baby. A classy woman knows that while she might be really curious about the answer, it's never polite to put someone on the spot. Instead, she waits until the couple brings the topic up themselves."

While there are always a few conversation topics to avoid in many venues, some of them we've previously discussed HERE, I think asking a woman or couple when they are planning to get married or when they're planning to start a family are two of the biggest no-no's. In this day and age when many women are at the peak of their career, are having children later in life, are unsure in this economy how they'd afford an elegant wedding or of how to raise a child, or are perhaps struggling with infertility; these well-meaning questions can actually make the woman or couple feel rather uncomfortable and at a loss for words. 

As a woman who has been married for six years but has not yet had a baby, I get asked when I'm going to have children or if I want to have children A LOT. Whether I'm at a backyard BBQ, a dinner with other ladies, or meeting someone new at a wedding, I can almost guarantee at least one person will ask. They usually begin talking about their own child or pregnancy and then say, "So, do you think you and Paul will want to have children?". I recently had someone tell me they just assumed that we had decided not to have children since so much has passed as a married couple. Ouch.

If you find yourself getting asked these questions, here are some quick suggestions on how to tactfully and cleverly answer even the most nosy person and silence your critics.

How to Answer Questions about Marriage & Children:

Question: "So, when are you guys getting married?"
Answer: "I will get married when the time is right."

Who can argue with that answer? Nobody. It also allows you to take ownership of yourself and not use the term "we" or "us" pulling your significant other into the equation or making any promises that may not happen.

Question: "When are you going to start a family?"
Answer: "We're way too busy enjoying this honeymoon time together (or enjoying this time just us two) to think about that yet!"

Who can put a timeline on how long the honeymoon phase is or the importance of just spending time together as a couple without children? Again, nobody. If you're a spiritual person, another great answer is: "We're leaving it all in God's hands, whatever he has planned for us."

Although these questions can be rather annoying after hearing them several times, try to just laugh it off and remember that someone is taking an interest in you. What I've come to realize is that for some, this is how they make conversation-they may not have a lot of interesting things going on in their own life so they pry and make the focus about other's life milestones not realizing that it is rude. I think these conversations can lead to gossip if not careful which is another reason why it's good to avoid asking these questions.

I want to hear from YOU! What are your thoughts on this topic? Has anyone (other than your mother) pressed you for details on when you're getting married or having babies? How did you respond?

XO






*photo credit

Manners Monday: Chewing Gum Etiquette

Two weekends ago, I was at a local church service enjoying hearing from a guest speaker who was visiting. He actually ran the Bible College my husband attended many years ago in California. While listening to the Pastor's awesome message, I kept hearing someone snap their from gum behind me, it had become quite distracting. I literally wrote the title for today's manners post in small letters on the back of my Sunday program so I'd remind myself to post about here later. (I actually got another post as the result of another woman's lack of manners at this same service if you can believe it), which I'll post here in the coming weeks. One thing is clear, people need to be re-taught manners and etiquette. While I sometimes hesitate on writing certain posts as to not offend you my reader, these messages need to get out because I just know someone will benefit from them which helps contribute to a better quality of society (at least that is my goal).

Aside from gum snappers and loud chewers, there are certain times when chewing gum is appropriate and times when it is not, so I wanted to address these aspects also. Let me just say though, if you're ever in doubt as to whether it might be okay, err on the side of caution and avoid it.


When Not to Chew Gum

1. At Work-Avoid chewing gum during any professional meetings, during church, at job interviews and in small classes or in any class where your participation is required or you'll be speaking. (I think it's a good thing that many schools don't allow it). You want to eliminate gum chewing in any working environment where you're in constant contact with customers or clients (this is common with sales jobs) and also advised for therapists, professors, teachers, counselors, professional speakers, instructors, trainers, singers, performers and of course clergy. Even Doctors, Dentists or Lawyers will have a more polished and professional appearance without the chomping of gum.

2. At Home-As it pertains to close family and friends, I think it is disrespectful particularly with the elderly to be chewing gum while carrying on a conversation. Many times they are hard of hearing, and are forced to read lips a little bit and this makes things challenging for them. Apart from this aspect, many older folks grew up in a time when gum chewing was considered to be tacky and you just didn't do it. Around your friends and closest of family, I think it is okay to chew gum with a closed mouth where thew chewing is quiet and almost not noticeable.

If you're going to chew gum, the best time is in your car, at home, while reading or anytime you're not carrying on a conversation with others on the phone or in person.

Chewing Quietly & Respectfully

As you'll note from my personal example at church, it only became an issue for those surrounding her including myself when it got noisy and became a distraction. Had the gum chewing been free of snapping and her mouth was closed while chewing, I probably wouldn't have even noticed.

If one cannot chew gum without needing to open their mouth and appear to be chewing cud like a horse, it's probably best to avoid gum altogether. If the gum chewing is for fresher breath, a mint might be a better option.

If you're one who enjoys snapping, popping and blowing bubbles from gum, the only time you should be doing this is at home, by yourself when you're not going to irritate others. In fact, I would strongly discourage such behavior as it would be easy to carry out the same popping in public forgetting where you are, as with most things in life what we do in private usually become public at some point in time.

Disposing of Chewed Gum

Nobody enjoys getting a wad of gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe. There is a proper way of disposing chewing gum that doesn't include sticking it under a desk or chair, rolling it in a ball and tossing it into a potted plant (I've seen people do this before) or sticking it to the wall of a building. Gum is sticky and especially when it gets hot, it becomes a gooey mess.

The most clean and elegant way of disposing of gum is to carry a small pack of tissues with you and use the tissue to quickly remove the gum from your mouth, squeeze the tissue and toss it into a garbage bin (not a recycling bin, not a smoker's ashtray-only a garbage. This way your hands stay clean and is is far more discreet. A lady never spits gum or anything else for that matter out of her mouth, that is an absolute no-no.

Chewing Gum & Health

Gum chewing is personal-some enjoy it and some don't. I've never known my husband to chew gum-he just doesn't like it. He's a mint kind of guy.

Let me just say that I used to chew a lot of gum. I've never been a smoker but for some reason since high school, I loved the fresh burst of mint-it seemed to perk me up midday and it seemed to somehow occupy my mouth while in a boring class. It just kind of became a habit I suppose. Today I almost never chew it. Two years ago, I went to the dentist because I had jaw pain and it felt as though my jaw wasn't aligned properly for some reason and it had started clicking. He enlightened me by letting me know that by constantly chewing (as in the case of gum) that you actually over-exercise your jaw. Like a rubber band, the constant stretching will eventually wear out those muscles and hearing clicking or grinding in the jaw would not be uncommon. That just about freaked me out. After that day, I stopped because I'm too young to have jaw problems. I'm now into mints. I'm pretty funny when it comes to carrying around floss and my toothbrush to work (I have a flossing obsession-I just really enjoy it) and in my bag when out and about so I really don't need gum for that aspect.

On a side note, the other negative health issue I found with gum is that 99.9% of all gum contains aspartame, acesulfame-potassium and other chemicals to artificially sweeten it which have been proven to cause health problems like tumors-eek! Yet, I see so many small children chewing it which is really scary. For that reason, the gum I did chew for the past few years is called Spry. Although I might sound like an ad for them here, I do not get paid by Spry to share their products, I just happen to think they have a healthy and quality alternative to regular gum after trying many other natural brands. They use natural ingredients and sweeten with sugar-free xylitol which comes from the birch tree and naturally sweetens without adding sugar and actually cleans your teeth and prevents cavities.  I purchased mine from Whole Foods or online and it's not like chewing on a rock as with some other natural gum. They also sell mints and toothpaste.

What are your thoughts on gum chewing as it pertains to manners? Are there any points I missed that you'd like to add?

Have a great week!

XO




*Photo credits: (1), (2)

Sophistication is About Simplicity

Have you ever noticed that often the most beautifully decorated homes are also the most simple as they provide an effortless look? Rooms bathed in sunlight with white paint, warm textures, natural materials and neutrals with small pops of color bring about a cozy feeling for me personally. Likewise, some of the most elegant gowns or beautiful, classic outfits are almost always the most simple in terms of design. In all areas of life, elegance and sophistication exist because of their ease and uncomplicated nature.
Lately I've been focused on simple yet yummy meals using raw ingredients or a limited amount of ingredients which lessens prep time in the kitchen and allows me to enjoy everything else in my life more fully. Last night's dinner (and admittedly today's lunch) was roasted beets and sweet potatoes (or sweets & beets as I lovingly refer to them as), just two ingredients plus 400 degrees of heat for 40 minutes and I could really taste the earthly goodness of each-they were delicious!

When it comes to my wardrobe, the pieces I get the most compliments on are always simple, classic pieces I've owned for years vs. the new, trendy pieces that are currently available. It's the prefectly fitting blazer I bought 8yrs ago with clean lines, or the pumps that I've kept in excellent condition and keep wearing year after year with multiple outfits because I chose black or neutral over an of-the-moment color. While the odd impulsive,fun, colorful or of-the-moment purchase is exciting and a great addition to one's wardrobe, classics are key for a classy woman's wardrobe. I love wearing what fits me, looks good on me and that which I feel confident in. Working with key pieces makes getting dressed in the morning that much easier!

What about your calendar-is it relaxed or chaotic? Are you making time for YOU? One cannot elegantly go through life with their hair on fire as they race from one meeting or event to the next. Why not begin scheduling some time that is especially for you. Maybe that time is first thing in the morning when the kids are still asleep, a 5am workout session, quiet meditation or prayer time to begin your day or an hour of rejuvenation after a long day of work. We cannot be a blessing to others and give of ourselves fully when we feel drained. A simplified schedule allows us to make room for the surprises of life and give us space between more stressful parts of our day to regain peace and recharge for the next day.

What areas of your life could benefit from a little more simplicity?

*images: (1), (2)

What to Wear: Elegance isn't about Excess

When it comes to the many attributes that our appearance is comprised of, less is truly more. The classy woman understands that elegance isn't about excess. In fact 'more' or too much of anything usually equates to tackiness and often an overall sloppy look. Last week we discussed perfume etiquette and how fragrance can overwhelm others in a way that detracts from your overall appearance.

Today we'll be discussing clothing, accessories and makeup.

4 Appearance Areas to Consider

1. Jewelry- When it comes to the finishing details, there is nothing lovelier than seeing one beautiful statement piece like a necklace, cocktail ring or a beautiful scarf to polish off an outfit. A woman should never appear as though she's wearing the entire contents of her jewelry box at one time with rings on every finger, you don't know where to look first. When in doubt stick to one statement piece and let the other accessories be present but blend in and complement the overall outfit without being too prominent. For some, it may be your engagement ring and/or wedding band. If you choose to wear a cocktail ring, you don't want it to compete with your engagement ring/set so it's best to wear any fashion rings on your left hand and leave the valuables at home.

2. Makeup-When it comes to makeup, it is meant to be a tool to enhance your existing natural beauty. An excess of makeup can look thick, caked on and anything but natural. Opt for spending your time and money on proper skincare, this way you'll spend less time covering up your skin and more time letting it shine with a hint of color here and there to create a natural glow. Be careful to only play up one particular feature. If you want to wear a red lip, go easy on the eye makeup. Likewise, if you plan to make your eyes pop and be the star of the show for a night on the town, you'll want to go a bit more neutral or nude for the lip, keep blush light also.

3. Accessories-Similar to jewelry, when it comes to accessories, it's best to only have one statement accessory. It could be a beautiful pair of red pumps, in which case, competing colors and even patterns should be kept to a minimum. A gorgeous hat will really stand out if everything else you are carrying is minimized. If you like to keep your accessories minimal most of the time or for a daytime look, make the star of the show one really awesome investment handbag that you love that can take you almost anywhere. Your keyring is also an accessory, there is nothing more juvenile looking than a key ring of a couple keys taken over by charms and dangly things as if one were in a Vegas casino.

Hair is also an accessory, be sure to keep it neat, soft and well cared for. Shades close to your natural hair color are best. Going platinum blond when you're a dark brunette may be a fun adventure but it can be excessive and appear too artificial and is hard to pull off if you want to be taken seriously.

4. Clothing- Some people overdose on a good thing. A top with ruffles and a pair of shoes that pick up on the same element can be very pretty, but having head-to-toe ruffles is nearly impossible to pull off and would look too over the top. Patterns should be kept to a minimum. If you are wearing a dress that is in a busy pattern or floral, everything else needs to be neutral and very minimal as to not compete with the dress. Layering works best when you use solids so everything doesn't appear so bulky.

*A word on labels. We all have brands we prefer over others, we just don't need to be a slave to these brands wearing many items all in one moment, otherwise you'll appear as a walking billboard instead of a polished professional. Classy women invest in quality basics that don't have brands or logos advertised all over them.

Do you have a new statement piece or clothing item that you are excited about right now? Please share!

I also wanted to announce the winner of the $20 worth of Pear Tree Greetings' goodies, it's Kelly of the blog 'I'll be back' . Congratulations! I'll be in touch shortly with the details. You're going to love their stationery! :)



*images (1), (2)

Reader Request: From Farm Girl to Classy Lady

Image Source

Today's reader request comes from Lindsey who grew up on a farm in Florida, is currently attending College and desires to become more lady-like and an overall classy woman. Thank you to Lindsey for her honest e-mail. Here is what she wrote:

Hi Karla,


Lately I have been trying to become a more classy lady. I'm a freshman in college, so I am at the point in my life where I need to decide what I want in life. I came across your blog and I love it. I find myself reading old posts during classes trying to soak up as much knowledge I can. Do you have any tips on how I can begin this journey of becoming a classy, sophisticated, and elegant young lady?


I have my career path lined out so I have that moving on a path. When it comes to being a lady I'm just very lost. I live on a farm in North Florida, and have always been the farm girl. I'm at the point in my life where it just doesn't really cut it anymore. I want to be the girl a guy can take home to meet mom. I also want to be the girl who is known for her manners and class. A modern-day Jackie or Audrey. Is this a complete crazy dream or could I make it happen?


Within the next three to four years I'm leaving my tiny home town and moving out on my own, degree in hand. I love my country life style. It has taught me some of my great life values of hard work and team work. I just feel it needs to be put on the side. I feel like I'm going to need classy girl skills over my ‘how to plow a field’. Please give any advice you can!


Thank you for your time,


Lindsey Lewis, FL

Here are my suggestions for you Lindsey:

Being a freshman, you are at a time in your life where a lot of change is taking place and becoming more of who you really want to be is a big part of that process. There are definitely many ways that you can move in the direction of being more classy, elegant and sophisticated so that you can become the classy and well-mannered lady you desire to be.

You don't have to completely abandon the farm/country girl values or lifestyle that has made you who you are. You can blend who you are with the new woman you want to become. Of course if you wanted to completely move into a new direction and leave that lifestyle behind, that is always possible too so it's not a crazy dream. It's very attainable! :)

There are three main areas that you will want to focus on while beginning your journey to becoming a more classy lady. These three areas will be broken down into more specific detail below.

1. Attitude/Behavior
2. Manners and Etiquette
3. Appearance

Many people, when they think of a classy woman, think about only one or two of these aspects such as how one dresses, and the truth is there are many elements that make up a classy lady. I'm really glad you are enjoying the information on this blog, two posts in particular that will be beneficial to you are:

1. How to Be Classy and Elegant with or without Money
2. How to Dress Classy on a Budget

These will help you in the area of wardrobe and graceful, lady-like behavior.

To elaborate on the three imporant areas above, I've included a breakdown on each:

1. Attitude/Behavior-Your attitude really determines who you will be as a person. You could come from the most desperate situation but by having a positive and winning attitude, you'll be sure to be unstoppable! It's not our circumstances that determine who we will become. We must take action and be determined to have a positive, upbeat attitude, even when it feels as though things may not be going our way. Remain non-judgemental as it pertains to certain situations or upon meeting new people. Above all, be a gracious and kind woman who other people will naturally be drawn too. People are attracted to other warm, inviting people who smile a lot, see the glass as 'half full' and enjoy the opportunities that each new day brings. These women not only make the best friends, but best employees, colleagues, mothers and wives also. Be a person that other people want to spend more time around.

When it comes to behavior, remember to act like a lady, but be yourself. Don't  try too hard to act like or be someone that you are not. Behave in a respectful way no matter what you are doing and be consistent. A classy woman isn't one who acts a certain way around her friends and family but the total opposite at work or on a date. You need to uphold what is important to you, your values and morals need to be as in line and true in one venue as they are in another.

Overall, being polite and respectful is key. Speak with a moderate tone, don't yell, raise your voice or curse. Always say 'please' and 'thank you' and remember that your body language can often speak for you. Crossed arms say a lot about how someone is feeling. Be conscious of your body language and how it lines up with your attitude and overall presence.

2. Manners and Etiquette- As mentioned above, basic manners are a must-holding a door for someone, saying please and thank you as well as helping others that are obviously in need of your help. Etiquette is something that if one hasn't learned in their home as they've grown up, might take a bit more time to learn and develop. Since we've never met and I'm not sure exactly where you are at, I would recommend reading some specific books on Etiquette such as those by the ever-popular Emily Post. Etiquette books are typically very in depth and will reveal a lot of information for you about all types of events, occasions as well as day-to-day etiquette such as how to turn down a date. You will also find more upcoming 'Manners and Etiquette' posts right here too!

3. Appearance-Unfortunately, we are all evaluated and often judged by our appearance. Sometimes, whether it be an interview or 'meeting his parents' you'll only get one impression that will be a lasting one with the other person in question. You always want to make an effort and put your best foot forward for such scenarios but also on a daily basis too. Even if you are running to the grocery store, you want to arrive in a presentable manner. This isn't just for everyone else, it makes you feel good about yourself too. Wherever you are remember to walk with your head held high, stand up straight and pull your shoulders back as to lenghthen your body and be more confident and alert vs. showing up slouched over without any visible confidence or attention paid to your appearance.

In terms of clothing, you'll want to be yourself. Dressing in a classy manner doesn't mean you need to wear little shift dresses 24/7 or that you always look perfect. Some keys to dressing classy are in the overall details. Make sure that hem lines are appropriate, it's never classy to 'let it all hang out' by way of a short skirt or a low cut top. Make sure makeup is natural and pretty, not overdone. Wear great accessories but use them sparingly, overaccessorizing can ruin an otherwise great outfit.

If you are not comfortable in such items as high heels or skirts, practice wearing these in your home so you can master the art of walking in pumps or crossing your legs in a lady-like fashion before going out into the real world. It's important to be comfortable, confident and not fidget. Classy women don't constantly fidget with their outfits, always adjusting a belt, or taking off a pair of heels because they are too tight. You want to make sure that whatever you wear is comfortable regardless of current fashion trends. On that note, it isn't important to embrace all of the latest trends. Being a classy woman involves coming into your own, developing your own style and owning it.

When I was fresh out of college and started working as an Account Manger with a Telecommunications company, I was still developing my style and perfecting it. Sometimes that may mean that you and your close friends will have very different styles. I was always the 'preppy one' of my group of friends. My outfits were usually more 'prefessional and polished' back then vs. hip and trendy. Many of my friends were working in casual setting so that worked for them. With a small clothing budget, I really tried to make blazers work with jeans on a weeknight and the like to stretch my work and casual wardrobes. These are things that you will also want to think about. Be sure to buy clothing that looks good on you. Make sure a particular style suits your body type and highlights your best features and minimizes your least favorite.

My rule is always quality over quantity. Buying several pairs of discounted shoes that are not as well constructed will never beat out one really great pair of quality, leather shoes that can be worn for many years to come, as the chosen style is one that would stay consistent. Think about clothing pieces as investments, for fun, trendy pieces you can afford to spend a lot less as they won't be worn for years to come. Some investment pieces are a few great pairs of jeans that flatter, a great pair of black pumps, a well-fitting coat, quality v-neck and crew neck t-shirts, button down dress shirts, especially a couple in white as well as a great fitting pair of black dress pants and own at least one great suit for interviews and important events if that is not your required day-to-day attire.

Be sure to get a great haircut that suits your face shape and is easy to manage. Coloring or highlighting is up to you, just make sure it looks really natural. Wearing makeup that won't break the bank is always a good idea and make sure the colors suit your skin tone also. Maintain your nails and overall appearance in a way that says, 'neat, clean, and well put together'. You never want to look frumpy or unkempt. Classy women make the effort, they care about themselves and their health too. A classy woman eats well, gets enough sleep and exercises to keep her energy levels up and maintain a healthy physique too.

Lindsey, you may want to start first with mastering manners and etiquette and incorporating new items into your wardrobe if necessary. It may mean thinking about the way you approach your day, what your attitude is like, or perhaps thinking back to previous events or social engagement and what you may like to improve upon. You don't want to beat yourself up, but just really think about some of these things and determine what you were happy with and where you wish to improve.

On your journey to becoming a more classy lady you will learn that it takes time, patience, effort, grace, and consistency. Nobody will do everything perfectly, so just do your best and know that each new day you are moving forward into the woman that you really want to be.

I hope this answers some of your questions, being a more classy woman is a big topic to cover, which is I wrote a book about it and why I dedicated a whole blog to it! It is my hope that your questions will help other women who have been raised in a similar environment that may want to break forth and transform themselves too.

Have a great week!

As always, if anyone has a reader request for me to answer, please e-mail me. You can find a little envelope in my side bar that you can click to send a message and I'd love to hear from you!

Reader Request: Classy or Snooty?

 

Classy Woman Grace Kelly

Thank you to to all of those who keep sending me your reader request questions! If you haven't yet, you can find out more about it here on my previous reader request post. Our previous (and first) published reader request was titled 'bringing classy back'. Thanks to Kimberly for sending in her question.

Today's question is one that many of you may be able to relate to. Jacklyn writes in and asks this:

Hello,

I would like to know when a woman is conducting and displaying herself with Manners, Elegance and Class why she's labeled as being snooty?

Thank You,

Jacklyn M. of Ft. Lauderdale, FL

This is how I responded.....

 Hi Jacklyn,

Thank you for writing me, I'm happy to answer your question. I think this happens quite often actually. Many classy and elegant women exude a confidence and carry themselves in a way that other women simply cannot relate to. They are genuinely kind and aren't looking to 'impress' anyone or be someone who they are not. Instead, the outsiders see such a woman as trying to act better than others, aloof, or 'snooty' as you mentioned, simply by their actions and conduct.

Another common reason is because consciously or unconsciously, the person doing the accusing may in fact be envious. Being a classy woman takes work, effort, patience, grace and isn't without imperfections. Other women do realize it takes someone special to rise above the drama and nonsense in this world and show one's best possible self with dignity, and often it is easier for them to critique others than to change themselves.

For anyone that has been labeled 'snooty' my advice is to continue to do what you do best-rise above and continue to surround yourself with people that love you, respect you, celebrate you and are positive influences in your life. You cannot change someone's opinion of you but you can lead by example by continuing to be gracious and warm. In this world we will never please everyone, so we can only be the best possible version of ourselves.  :)

Warmly,

Karla

Has anyone ever received this type of label simply by being your classy self? How did you feel or respond?

Reader Requests

After almost a year of blogging about the ins and outs of being a Classy and Fabulous woman, I'm creating an open forum where you will be able to email me your post requests and questions and I will answer them specifically in the form of an upcoming blog post so other women can benefit as well. If you want your question(s) to remain private, just mention that in your message or subject header and I will be happy to respond to you only and will not publish your question. If you've wondered about how to dress classy for an upcoming date or what the etiquette is for a particular occassion, or even how I snag such great deals, I'm here to answer them all. :)


Simply look to the left hand side of this blog page and scroll down until you see the large cream-colored envelope. Click on it and then type and send your message along with a subject header named 'Reader Request'.


I want this blog to be an open community of women to grow, learn from one another and feel comfortable. So, with that said I'll be starting the 'Reader Requests' this month. You can always chime in too and leave your opinion and feedback in the comments' section. The amount of reader requests will be determined by how often you email me. As a matter of fact, I have received my first few requests recently and wanted to share them with you. Stay tuned for those upcoming posts!


I look forward to reading your emails soon!

Warmly,