Manners Monday: Holiday Tipping Etiquette

Hi Lovelies! I still cannot believe that December is already upon us! I hope you're all enjoying some decorating, baking and preparing for the holidays. We now have just 3 weeks left until Christmas Eve! I wanted to resume our regularly schedule Manners Monday posts. As I mentioned in my previous Tipping Etiquette post, a Facebook reader (Amber Y.) asked if I could provide some insight on the topic as well as what the proper protocol and amounts are for tipping service workers during the holidays.

Whether you want to give your hair stylist a little extra something this Christmas to show your appreciation for making you even more beautiful or plan to provide a special treat for your mail carrier who never leaves your packages at the wrong house, here is a detailed list and some guidelines to consider as you decide how to thank the people in your life, if you'll be spending money and if so, how much you'd like to spend.

First and foremost, holiday thanking and tipping is a kind gesture and not an obligation, it's not something to be done if it will take you outside of your budget. If your holiday budget does not allow for tipping this year but you still want to do a little something extra, homemade gifts are a great option-sweet treats, bath salts or a beautiful knit scarf are presents from the heart that don't have to cost anything out of pocket to you except for a little time and your supplies on hand.

No matter what gift or tip amount you choose, be sure to always include a handwritten note of appreciation of a few sentences. Some things to consider when tipping are how often you tip the service provider already, how often you receive the services provided, your relationship with the service provider, the length of time you've used the company's or individual's services and the location in which you live (tipping tends to be higher in large cities). Below, you'll find guidelines for 25 key service providers, what's appropriate to give and to whom.

1. Housekeeper/Maid-Up to the amount of one week's pay and/or a small gift. If you have an irregular scheduled service such as house cleaners that come only before a big holiday event or intermittently during busy times, you can tip at your discretion based on the size of your home and how extensive the cleaning is.

2. Beauty Salon Service Providers-The cost of one salon visit divided for each staff member who has provided service to you. Alternatively you could provide a small, meaningful gift to each person with a card sharing your gratitude.

3. Barber-A personal gift or the cost of one haircut would be appropriate for men who their hair cut regularly.

4. Personal Trainer- For trainers that you see weekly or multiple times per week and have built a relationship with, cash up to the cost of one session or a gift is acceptable for showing your thankfulness for helping keep you in shape.

5. Live-in Nanny or Au Pair-Since this person works closely with your family, a full week's pay along with a personal gift from your child/children is thoughtful.

6. Day Care Provider/Teacher- Whether a single individual or several staff members care for your children, provide either a gift or tip to each. A reasonable range is $25-50 per person. This same amount can also be given to teachers of young children in elementary school also.

7. Regular Babysitter- Cash is the best option in the amount of one evening's pay, you can also provide a gift from your child/children. 

8. Live-in Help- Family cooks, butlers or housekeepers should be given one week (or if you're feeling extra generous) up to one month's pay as a cash tip. Like live in Nanny's a gift from you along with a personal note card is also a thoughtful addition.

9. Private Nurse- A thoughtful gift can be given by either the person being cared for or the one responsible for paying for the care.

10. Home Health Professionals- Be sure to check with the agency before providing gifts or tips, as each has a different policy. In the case that none are accepted, you may consider making a donation to the agency. If it is not against company policy, a thoughtful gift is most appropriate.

11. Nursing Home Employees- Since many staff will interact with and care for the person living in a nursing home, a shared gift makes a lot of sense. Be sure to check the company's policy on gifts beforehand. Flowers or a basket of food items are great options.

12. Dog Walker- Up to one week's pay or a gift, increase the amount or gift size if you have multiple dogs.

13. Pet Groomer- If the same person grooms your pet throughout the year, a gift or a cash tip up to the cost of one grooming session can be given.

14. Massage Therapist/Physical Therapist-The cost of one session or a gift can be provided if you see the same person all year.

15. Trash/Recycling Collectors-Be sure to check city regulations if you have municipal services. If you have a private service, $10-$20 can be given or a gift.

16. Yard Keeper/Gardener- Cash or a gift can be given to a regular service provider from $20-$40 for a regular sized yard. For sprawling properties with many detailed shrubs and hedge work, you may wish to provide more.

17. Handyman- Cash or gift can be given in the amount of half to a full hourly rate. Typically between $30-$60.

18. Pool Cleaner- A shared gift or a cash tip in the amount of one cleaning can be given and split among the cleaning crew.

19. Superintendent- A gift or $20-$75 can be given.

20. Doorman- Cash in the amount of $15-$60 can be given or $15 or more for each of several doormen or a gift for each.

21. Elevator Operator-A gift or cash in the range of $10-$40 for each individual.

22. Garage Attendants- A cash tip of $10-$25 or a small gift.

23. Newspaper Delivery Person-Cash in the range of $10-$25 or a gift of equivalent value.

24. Mail Carrier-In the U.S., the United States Postal Service workers are not permitted to receive any form of currency such as cash tips, checks, gift cards, etc. Small gifts up to $20 are acceptable such as travel mugs, hand warmers, small gift baskets or a box of chocolates, so long as they are not part of a meal. Outside of the U.S., be sure to find out what is legally acceptable.

25. Parcel Carrier/Package Deliverer-Again, no cash can be given as with mail carriers. They may however receive a gift in the $20 range if you receive regular deliveries.

While tips can be collected from December to the end of January,  they make the most sense when given during the holiday season so anytime during the month of December is most acceptable and common. I hope you find this holiday tipping etiquette and guide helpful as you prepare your shopping list and gift budget for those who add to your life in a special way.

If you have some unique gift ideas or handmade items that you give to the service people in your life, I'd love to hear about it. Do you bake a special dessert or treat? Maybe you know of a great unisex gift? Share it in the comments below so we can all benefit from your idea. :)

Thanks for reading! There will be a lot more holiday and Christmas-related posts coming soon, I hope you'll check back in again soon. If you liked this guide, share it via Facebook, Tweet about it or Pin to Pinterest!

XO

Manners Monday: Tipping Etiquette

I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend and enjoyed the extra hour of sleep (or time spent anyway you pleased). Today's Manners Monday post was actually prompted by a reader, Amber Y., who wrote me a message on my Facebook wall last week and requested more information on how much to tip for various services (things that go beyond just restaurant tips).

Every classy woman should be armed with the knowledge of what to tip and when. So, today we'll explore various venues and general amounts that are appropriate as it pertains to everyday tipping etiquette in North America. We'll explore international tipping as well as holiday tipping at a later date so this post doesn't become insanely long. ;)

Everyday Tipping Etiquette 

Restaurant Services:

1.  Host or Maitre d'- $10-$20 if they have gone above and beyond to provide you with a special table with a view, in a particular location of the restaurant, for a special evening or occasion or on a busy night. Nothing is required if they offer the standard of greeting and showing you to your table.

2. Restaurant Server (full service/sit down)- 15-20% is customary, the higher amount showing that you were quite pleased with the service, atmosphere and food. Tipping percentages are based on the before tax amount (there is no need to tip on top of tax). If an automatic gratuity is built into your check, you are not required to provide anything further, it is optional to tip on top of the amount included which is typically 18% for upscale restaurants and is typical when dining as a party of 6 or more.

3. Restaurant Server (basic service/buffet)-10% is customary before tax since these servers are generally replenishing drinks and clearing plates vs. taking full orders, specific requests and serving you multiple courses of your meal. 

4. Take Out- 10% is optional if the order was large or complex, otherwise you are not obligated.

5. Curb-side pickup-Same rules apply as take-out, they'll bring it out to your car.

6. Home Delivery Service-10-15% of the bill is sufficient. Usually $2-5 dollars for pizza delivery depending on the size of the order and how difficult it is to get to the location is standard. (Think long country roads in the snow at night)

7. Bartender-$1-$2 on a per drink basis or 15-20% of the final tab

8. Tip Jar- Optional. Many people feel obligated to leave a tip when they see a tip jar but it's set up for Baristas at cafes, dry cleaners, etc. Anything is acceptable and is shared among the staff.

9. Valet- $2-$5 is customary upon the return of your car.

10. Restroom Attendant- Anywhere from 50 cents to $3.00 depending on the service offered. Such attendants usually supply paper towels, lotion, feminine products, mouthwash etc inside the restroom of upscale restrooms, special events and clubs for your convenience. You can simply avoid the extra service by not using any products and simply saying, "No, Thank you." 

Salon & Spa Services:

1. Hair Stylist- 15-20% for hair cuts, color, highlights & updos. If you're service pertains to your wedding day and you feel more is appropriate, your stylist will be grateful for the extra. *Please note that if you cannot afford such a tip on top of the cost of a pricier salon, you may want to receive your services elsewhere or stretch out the time between visits. Know what the cost is going in and calculate the tip so there are no surprises and yours stylist gets what they deserve.

If you have one person that provides the cut and another the color or shampoo, be sure to either pay each person individually in cash or indicate on the receipt who gets what amount if paying by credit card. Many used to follow the rule of not tipping the owner who provides the service, modern etiquette recommends otherwise-tip no matter what as they are still providing good service to you.

2. Special Shampoo service-$2-$5 is the average for those who provide your shampooing service. If they are gentle, avoid splashing water on your face, use products that stimulate the scalp and most importantly provide a wonderful scalp and neck massage, do tip them! They'll remember the next time you come back and you'll be sure to get a relaxing shampoo experience again.

3. Manicurist-15-20% is the standard for all nail treatments for manicure and pedicure. Extra credit goes to those who give a relaxing forearm and hand massage or foot and calf massage for more than just 2 minutes. If they provided something extra or did an ultra amazing job on the polish   20% or more should be given.

4. Massage Therapist-15-20% can be given for massages although be aware that some therapeutic massage establishments actually frown upon tipping (make sure you ask ahead of time when you make the reservation). If you are receiving treatment after a car accident or injury and the massage is being billed via insurance or you are being reimbursed, use your discretion on tipping in such cases as it is more about body restoration than relaxation.

5. Waxing services- Again, 15-20% as it is a salon service.

6. Makeup Application- Anywhere from 10-20% tip. If they take a few minutes to show you how to apply eye shadow like a pro or provide tips for you on how to get a more dewy look (or whatever questions you may have or that they feel they want to share), tip them accordingly. 

Hotel & Travel Services:


1. Door Man- $1-$4 for carrying luggage or anything that involves them going out of their way for you and is not in their description. $1-2 is recommended for hailing a cab for you.

2. Bell Hop-$2 for the first bag and $1 for each additional bag thereafter. For each additional service (such as room delivery), tip $2-3.

3. Housekeeping- $2-5 per day depending on the level of service. Always include a hand written note that thanks the housekeeper and indicates it's for them. It's best to do this on a daily basis as you may likely have a different person each day.

4. Concierge-$5-10 if they got restaurant reservations of special tickets for you. Add an extra $5 if the tickets or reservations were hard to come by. Of course, you need not feel obligated to tip for having them answer a few questions for you.

5. Taxi Driver-A minimum of $1 for very short rides, 15-20% of the cab fare. If they are assisting your with luggage/bags, add $2 for the first bag and $1 for each thereafter.

6. Sky Cap (air travel) -This is a specialty service for air travelers to make life easier, $2 for the first bag and $1 for each bag thereafter (as with other venues) is appropriate.



Tips on Tipping:

It's important to remember that tipping is a personal gesture and at the discretion of the giver, while guidelines are set, if you have been extremely disappointed by someone's service provided or delighted when someone has gone above and beyond, your tip should reflect. A lady knows that certain things are done in private and the act of tipping is no exception. Tipping should be done discreetly, it was never intended to be an opportunity to appear as the big spender nor should you compare amounts with others, everyone's experience is different. Also, be mindful that for many in the service industry, their tips are the bulk of their income as hourly compensation can often be meager and as such tips are always greatly appreciated.

Today, it seems that even when someone has experienced horrific service, many feel compelled to leave the standard 15%. In such cases, it's best to speak to management and make them aware of the issue (without causing a scene or fuss of any sort), only then can they help correct what you were displeased with and speak to the person in question. It is considered poor taste to leave pocket change or nothing at all upon receiving services, especially within a restaurant environment, for poor service a tip of 10% of the check's total should be the absolute minimum. Other members of the restaurant are often affected (in many restaurants bus boys, dishwashers, food prep and chef receive a portion of the server's tip and they should not be penalized in the process).

***A note on gift certificates and Groupon or group coupon deals. Even if your gift certificate covers a large portion of your meal or spa service, tipping is always made on the full value of the services or meal before tax and not on the portion that remains after your gift card.

Have you had someone provide exemplary services and have re-warded them as such for their thoughtfulness and/or skill? I'd love to hear what they did to make you so happy, please share the positive vibes in the comments section! :)

Thank you for reading!

XO






*image credit

Restaurant Tipping Etiquette

Have you ever wondered what etiquette calls for when it comes to tipping? There are so many types of services that require a tip, but today's focus is on dining out.

For many that have been servers at a previous time in life or even still are today, your opinion is probably pretty cut and dry on this matter. Several years ago I worked at an upscale steakhouse part time for a few months and got to learn the ropes of the restaurant business and also see how servers view restaurant diners'. I also got to see how servers were often treated by customers as well.

After that experience I have a whole new appreciation for servers and what their job entails. I was also on the receiving end of poor tipping even when I had gone above and beyond to provide the best possible service. This is a result of those that do not understand tipping etiquette. On the flip side, I can recall some pretty amazing tips too, but those were few and far between. Because of my experiences I personally err on the side of over-tipping vs. under-tipping. Having said that, if someone has done a very poor job and has been rude and unhelpful in solving a dining dilemma, that is also reflected in their tip.

Here are some helpful guidelines to follow so that you won't insult your server- or worse- embarrass a group of friends you may be dining with while splitting the bill.

Tipping Etiquette for Dining Out

1. Tipping is NOT optional. It is expected at restaurants as servers, chefs, bus boys, hostesses, etc., will all be receiving a small share of the server's tip. Servers earn most of their money via tips, not in wages. The hourly rate for servers is very low and is usually under minimum wage. This is a server's incentive to provide the best service possible. The bottom line here is, if you cannot afford to pay the tip after your meal, you should not be dining at that restaurant in the first place. Select a suitable establishment that is more in line with your budget. Many restaurants post their menus online, so it's easy to choose one that will be perfect for you.

2. Be Gracious with Gratuities-In North America, the tipping standard for a good restaurant is between 15-20% with 20% or more showing your gratitude for outstanding service and an overall wonderful dining experience. This amount is based on your meal's total before tax and any coupons or discounts are taken off. Other countries operate very differently and some view tipping as an insult. Before traveling abroad it is important to understand International Etiquette with a special focus on tipping practices.

3. Automatic Gratuities- If you are dining with a party of more than 8 people, you will probably be subject to an automatic gratuity of about 18%. Large parties require more assistance and typically dine longer in a restaurant. These gratuities are added to make the server's and restaurant's life much easier. Be sure not to tip on top of the automatic gratuity, which is easy to do if you are caught up in laughter, great conversation or have had a couple glasses of wine. High end restaurants often use the automatic gratuity method for all tables, so again be sure to check for that so you don't overtip. You will always be welcome to tip on top of the automatic gratuity should you so choose.

4. Handling Poor Service- If your server has been rude, unattentive or has made several errors with your order, you'll want to bring those matters to the attention of the restaurant manager. Many times they will be able to assist you or compensate you in ways that your server may not. If it is something like an undercooked steak, your server should be able to take care of this. This doesn't necessarily warrant a lesser tip. After all, the server cannot control how the chef has created your meal. Perhaps they are unattentive because the restaurant is unusually busy. Try to see it from their point of view. If there is no apology or attempt to make your dining experience enjoyable, you may then want to reflect that in the tip you leave.

If a manager has taken care of an issue with your meal and deducted it from your bill, be sure to tip on the total amount of what your meal was worth and not the lesser amount. Remember you are tipping on the service and experience and not the discounted total. The same goes for birthday cake that was provided 'on the house', etc.

5. From Lounge to Table- Perhaps you've started at the restaurant's lounge or bar area before heading to your table, be sure to leave the bartender a tip before leaving for your table. Many people want to have it added to their dining bill, but this gets sticky as the bartender usually gets left without their tip. A server may forget later to give the bartender a kickback and may not know how much to give them as this is your job as the dining patron.

If you're dining with a group and you don't want to be responsible for anyone underpaying or under-tipping, simply ask for a separate bill. Often times if a large group orders family style or shares appetizers you may wind up forking over a lot of money for a dish that you had a small taste of while others finished the whole plate.

A girlfriend of mine just recounted the most awkward scenario involving a group of close friends at a restaurant. It resulted in her spending a lot more money than she had intended all while she was trying to adhere to her tight budget.

For similar posts, type 'etiquette' in the search bar at the top of this page.

Have you been a server before? What are your tipping experiences or opinions?

Happy Dining!