Reader Request: Etiquette for New Neighbors

I mentioned a few days ago in this Manners Monday post that one of my readers, Amy from California, wrote in asking about etiquette as it pertains to being the new neighbor on the block. They will soon be getting married and moving from the bustling city of San Francisco to the suburbs in Boise, Idaho.

This is what Amy wrote in asking:

Karla,

My fiance (our day is in the coming August) and I are moving to a suburb in a whole new state. I understand you have done your share of pulling up and settling down thousands of miles away from "home," I wondered if you'd give me your opinion on what is the etiquette for being the newcomers on the block.

How can we (in a classy manner) simply introduce ourselves to the neighbors and what are the ways that we can explore in building a social network in a new place?

Thank you,
Amy

This was how I responded...

Dear Amy,

Thanks for writing, I love to hear from my readers! :) First of all, congratulations on your engagement and I think it's great that you're stretching yourselves and moving to a new area, albeit unfamiliar.

It's true, I moved multiple times as a child, then as an adult, most recently I moved from Toronto, Canada to Orlando, FL 4 years ago which has been interesting. While the area was new to me, my husband had lived in our now home for many years and grew up here (it was his grandparent's home) so it was a different process for me-he was familiar with it all and I was learning the ins and outs for the first time. I think there is something special though about experiencing a move to a new town with a significant other.

As far as etiquette goes as the newcomers, if you're moving into a home or town home you'll generally find that more established neighbors on your street will see the moving truck and will become curious and make their way over to introduce themselves and offer to be of help as you get settled. If they don't come over on moving day (they may want to give you space), they'll definitely see you while you get the mail, walk the dog (if you have one) or go for a walk yourselves, or even take out the trash.

However, if for some reason this is not your experience, by all means, grab your honey and introduce yourselves to the neighbors. Perhaps you'll see them playing with their children outside, bringing in the recycle bins, etc. You'll definitely at the very least want to get to know the neighbors on either side of you as well as those across the street from you, however it's not necessary to go door-to-door and introduce yourselves to each neighbor. With street parties, local community events and other scenarios, you're bound to meet those that reside around you soon enough and one neighbor is bound to introduce you to some of the others.

The whole moving experience will feel so much more pleasant once you get to know a few neighbors that you can turn to for questions or help if you need to. They can be a great source of information-the best grocery stores, they may also have valuable contact for contractors/handy man, painters, etc. Don't be disheartened if your neighbors seem to keep to themselves, this is especially common in the cooler months but by introducing yourselves and getting to know your neighbors you'll show yourselves to be friendly.

As far as branching out socially, if it's a city where the two of you won't know anyone else, or many others, the website: www.MeetUp.com is highly recommended and exists in every city. I didn't discover it until I was living in FL for nearly 2 years but once I did, I got to meet a lot of great people who were also in the same place in their life, similar age group with similar interests and even started my own women's group on it which has been a blast! It's a great way to get to know local eateries, shopping areas and learn about local parks, activities, etc. It was the single best thing I did besides buying a GPS. ;)

Other areas for you to branch out socially might happen naturally if you set up a library account, explore churches in your area (if that's of interest) and be sure to ask friends if they know of anyone in your area. You never know, a friend of a friend might be able to introduce you to things and places you might not have thought of and you might make a new friend that way too.

I hope this is helpful. Your questions have actually given me inspiration for a couple future posts on moving and etiquette. I hope your upcoming move is extremely stress-free and that you love your new home and city!

Warmly,
Karla

I'd love to hear how you got settled into your neighborhood and how you set up your social network in a new town!

Manners Monday: Greeting New Neighbors

 With springtime being one of the busiest seasons for moving, I thought I'd spend some time focusing on the etiquette of moving as it pertains to meeting new neighbors. Today's post was inspired by Amy, a reader who wrote in this weekend asking me about etiquette as it pertains to her upcoming move, more on that later this week.

Today I want to focus on the proper etiquette of welcoming new neighbors and what your role is as the established neighbor.

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon and you're working in your garden when you see a moving truck pull up to the home that sold just a few months ago. The new neighbors begin unloading their belongings and directing movers where items need to go. You might be wondering who should introduce themselves to whom and when an appropriate time to do so would be.

Moving day is always a busy one, there is a lot to co-ordinate and often the new home owners are exhausted from packing, unpacking and lugging heavy boxes around so they definitely won't want want to linger long on the day they take possession of their new home, as they'll be anxious to get settled in.

Here are some tips and advice on how to greet your new neighbors so they feel welcomed to your neighborhood.

1. Timing & Taking Initiative- As the established neighbor, it's always best to take initiative and introduce yourself first. If the new homeowner(s) have help moving in, it would be safe to pop over and meet with them for a few minutes however if they're the only one co-ordinating the move and running the show, it's best to wait until a later date. If they appear to have a few people helping them, the break to chat and meet someone new might be a welcomed one.

2. Be Refreshing- Whether it's hot outside or not, moving itself works up a sweat, so pop by with a couple bottles of water which is thoughtful and a good way to break the ice. Don't linger too long but do introduce yourself and let them know your name and your significant other's name and let them know you live right across the street, in the house with the red door or whatever easily describes your home, should they need anything at all. Show interest and ask them where they are from.

Also share with them any resources such as handymen in the area or a great painter/contractor, etc., if they ever need one. It's also a good opportunity to let them know when the city services such as garbage and recycling pickup come by and what days their side of the street can water. Keep it brief so they can get back to work and let them know it was a pleasure to meet them.

3. Magical Move-Sometimes when we're busy with life, away for the weekend or don't even see the move occur, we all of a sudden notice that new neighbors have moved into a home on your street, almost magically. Try to find an opening to introduce yourself and welcome them. This might be while you're taking out the garbage, walking the dog, going for an evening jog or outside pulling the weeds. Wave from your side of the street and say hello, once you make eye contact and they respond, pop over and shake their hand and chat with them for a bit, make them feel a part of the new neighborhood. Try to find common ground on anything they share so they'll feel more at ease.

4. The More the Merrier- Look for opportunities to introduce your new neighbors to other neighbors that they may not have met. Maybe an annual street party is just the time or if you are in the habit of hosting backyard parties, why not invite them over? You could have them over for coffee. Once you've gotten past the initial meeting and getting to know them, you might want to go on a double date for dinner at a restaurant or take them somewhere fun in your area to expose them to what's available.

5. Putting Yourself in their Shoes-Sometimes we try our best to greet someone new and it doesn't work out. Maybe they aren't very friendly or their lifestyle is completely different than yours-you're a busy professional woman with a white picket fence and young children and they happen to be a couple of single guys in their fifties who are proud members of a motorcycle club and drive Harleys. You don't have to be friends with every one of your neighbors if they aren't your cup of tea or you don't have much in common, but do look beyond appearances and extend yourself and show kindness, make the effort and always think of the situation from their perspective.

Moving from another town, state or country into a new neighborhood can be uncomfortable and overwhelming but by being greeted with warm smiles and sweet people, it can make their transition so much easier and they will always remember you for that. It's always good to have people in your corner to watch over your home while you're away on vacation or in case of an emergency and it's better to have met them beforehand vs. when you need to run over during a crisis when you might need their help.

Unfortunately, these days everyone is so busy with their own lives that the lovely gestures of days gone by such as a welcome basket or a freshly baked pie seem to have been forgotten. If you're baking a fresh batch of muffins, why not double up the recipe and bring some over to your new neighbors? Popping by with an inexpensive bunch of flowers is another thoughtful idea to brighten their home.

What was the most memorable thing that a neighbor did to welcome you to your new home/neighborhood?What things have you done to greet a new neighbor and make them feel special?


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