Everyday Etiquette: Thanking Guests

I hope you are having a fabulous weekend! I've been a little bit MIA on the blog scene lately.  As you may know, my hubby was in town for 10 days for spring break so we got to catch up for a bit. No sooner did I drop him off at the airport, two days later one of my best friends from Toronto, her hubby, 5 month old and 3.5 year old arrived and are staying with me for a week during part of their vacation. All of my regular daily schedule got put on the backburner for a while, but it's been fun to catch up with those I love.

I want to send out a big thank you to everyone who participated and gave me your feedback in the Classy and Fabulous survey that I posted last month. :) Your kind words have been much appreciated and your honest feedback will help me to further grow this blog into something that responds to the interests of my readers. If you are new or haven't had a chance to fill out the survey and want to be included, it's still open, will take you about 2 mins and all feedback is anonymous, you can fill it out HERE.

As I've mentioned before, a goal of mine was to start getting posts down to a shorter length. I know everyone is busy and we all read multiple blogs so while there will still be a few long ones here and there when I just can't seem to post it any other way, I'm going to transition to more bite sized posts whenever I can. With that said I've decided to start an Everyday Etiquette series.  It will offer relevant advice and gentle reminders that you can use in your everyday life but unlike the Manners Monday series it will be posted more sporadically vs. on a particular day and they will feature one quick tip vs. several for a particular topic.

Without further ado, today's topic is about thanking guests that have been invited to an event that YOU are hosting.

When it comes to a formal event like a wedding, most don't think twice about sending out a thank you gift for a wedding gift that was received on their big day or simply for the guest's attendance, it is only customary. These days when it comes to more casual celebrations such as a surprise birthday, a graduation party or even a house warming party, hosts and hostesses usually verbally thank their guests for coming and celebrating with them but often do not bother to follow up with a thank you note.

Even if you have made the decision to host a surprise birthday party for someone at an expensive restaurant and will pick up the tab or have food catered into your home and feel as though that is more than enough to show your thanks to your guests, it is impolite to invite guests and not follow up with a thank you for them having joined you.

In the thank you note,  be sure to let guests know how much you (if you hosted a party for yourself) or your guest of honor (if you hosted on their behalf) enjoyed the special day, the company of all of the guests that joined them as well as the special gift they may have provided. Add something funny that was said or pop a photo of your guest from the party into the card as a keepsake. It leaves a guest feeling appreciated and with this, your duties as the hostess come to a close.

Note: If you entertain very casually on a regular basis, sending cards out weekly would obviously be overkill, so a simple e-mail then would suffice.

At a time with so much technology, guests and friends love to receive something personalized, handwritten and thoughtful from those they've celebrated with. When was the last time you received a thank you card from a host/hostess?

Happy Weekend!

XOXO
 
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How to Be the Perfect House Guest

Have you ever had family or friends stay with you that were so irritating you wished you could just tell them how you felt or wished they would go home? Perhaps you were that house guest at some point without even realizing it. Staying in another person's home is not always the most comfortable or enjoyable experience at times, even if you're staying with those that you know well.  If you're new to staying in another person's home you might be left wondering what your role is.

In last week's post, we looked at etiquette for hosting house guests, just in time for the holiday season.

Below are some tips on how to be the kind of house guest that your host will truly be sad to see go.

House Guest Etiquette

1. Write a List- While a friend or family member probably wouldn't mind sharing a hair dryer with you or letting you borrow their tube of toothpaste, this could become annoying over the course of a week to share various items. The best bet is to make a list several days before you pack your bag(s) adding new items as you remember them and cross off each item as you put it into your bags. This way you'll avoid having to run to a local store to pick up toiletries or constantly asking your friend to use their floss, etc. For larger items like hairdryers, if you'd don't have a tiny travel version you might want to ask our host about that beforehand. They may have an extra or tell you not to worry.

2. Be Thoughtul- Just as I shared in the hosts' etiquette tips, you might want to do something special or thoughtful to let your host know you appreciate them having you in their home. It may be a bottle of wine, a thoughtful card or handmade gift or it may be a dinner out on the town, add that to your list and do forget to bring that item along if it needs to be packed. While hosts don't generally expect anything in return, they do go to a lot of effort cleaning and preparing their home and a room for their guests and it's nice to feel appreciated. One area to be mindful of is when booking your flight/train ride or arrival that you try as best as you can to make it during the hours of 8am-10pm. Arriving at midnight, especially during a weeknight can be exhausting if your host has to pick you up.

3. Don't Do Anything You Wouldn't Do in Your Home- This probably sounds obvious but say for example you need to take off your mascara and you're provided with a lovely white washcloth. You probably wouldn't use that in your own home for fear of staining the cloth. Ask you friend for a darker cloth or be sure to wash it off really well before using the white towels. One exception is putting your feet up in someone's home, especially on a coffee table is a no-no. No matter if you do it in your home or not, it's not respectful. Be sure to ask your host about wearing shoes in the house and what their policy is. Don't smoke on their property without asking where it is acceptable to do so.

4. Clean Up- Regardless of how neat you like to keep your home, it is important and will show respect if you make it a habit to tidy up after yourself whether it be making your bed in the morning, hanging your towel up after a shower and putting away your toiletries or putting away item used in the kitchen. The last thing you want to do is make extra, unnecessary work for your host. in fact, if you have a little time your host would be overjoyed if you did the few dished in the sink, loaded the dishwasher or tidied up the shoe area in the front hall. Anything you can do to show you care and can make their life easier will mean more to them then you know. If you happen to break, spill or ruin something, make sure you get to it right away and let your host know. It's never a good idea to try to cover up something that's been damaged.

5. Do it for Yourself- If there is anything that you can do for yourself such as make you own breakfast, make coffee for everyone in the morning or do your own laundry, do it. You don't want to overwhelm your host with trivialities. If your host has not given you free reign and declared 'mi casa es su casa' then ask politely if you can make coffee for everyone vs. taking initiative. If your host hasn't told you to make yourself comfortable and grab what you need, they may have forgotten or may have a preference for who does what in their home. If you see them preparing dinner though, jump in and help them. If you ask them if they need help, they'll likely say "no".

6. Keep Comments to Yourself- You may be staying with a couple, your parents or complete strangers. Whatever the situation, it's always a good idea to try to mind your own business. If there is a marital tiff or a couple asks you for your opinion in a joking way, let them know you don't want to get into the middle. If you disagree with the way your sister parents her children, or perhaps there is a funky smell coming from the fridge or you don't like what is being served for dinner, do not comment. Just remember that while you may do things differently, you're only a guest for a few days and then you can home and do things as you wish.

7. Departure- While wine is a gift best given the first day of your trip upon arrival, a card along with something you've brought from home or a beautiful bouquet of flowers you picked up locally would be a wonderful way to thank your host and give them something goregous to remember your visit by. If your host played 'tour guide' to you in their home town, or you spent your days sightseeing together, you might even want to put together a cute and inexpensive little photo book and mail it to them afterwards. You can always email them your best digital photos, just be sure to include some of you together. If you were having so much fun that you forgot to even leave a card, be sure to mail one out as soon as you get back home.

Click HERE for some great hostess gift ideas for a dinner party or your next in-home stay so you can be a grateful guest.

Have your house guest experiences been good? What things did your guests do to either really suprise you, annoy you or elate you? Leave a comment!

Thanks for reading!

XO

How to be a Grateful Guest

Whether you've been invited to stay the weekend with some friends or invited to a holiday feast, lovely dinner party or BBQ, it's always important to bring something thoughtful for the host or hostess. As I mentioned in a previous post, it is polite to send a thank you card to the host after the event to both thank them for the invitation and to share what a great time you had with everyone (provided you actually did).

Particularly while being invited to either an intimate dinner, a holiday gathering or a dinner party, you'll want to bring a little something with you for your hard-working host. Try to select something that is practical and can be used or shared during the party itself.

If you're stuck for an idea other than a bottle of wine, here are a few below:

1. Dessert Wine- This is a great option for sophisticated wine lovers.

2. Gourmet Chocolates-I don't know anyone who doesn't appreciate quality chocolate!

3. Fresh flowers w/ a vase (these don't have to be expensive, it's the thought that counts)

4. A box of specialty tea such as those individually packaged in little triangles or loose tea.

5. A couple of packages of fun napkins in a gift bag, or those with the family's monogram.

6. Wine charms-These help separate identical glasses so the guests will know which is theirs.

7. A Pet Gift- If you are close to the host/hostess and their pet is like a child to them, bring them a treat for their pet or something specific like a fun yet inexpensive new dog collar.

8. Dish Soap/Hand Lotion-These are practical and will get used. The ones in the photo above are from MarthaStewart.com. Other great sets can be found at Williams Sonoma or any major discount retailer.

9. Beautiful Napkin Set- Bring a set of 4-6 cloth napkins (depending on the size of their family).

10. DIY Crafty Gifts- If you're talented in the craft department and you know the host really well, do bring your own creation- a wreath, some homemade goodies, homemade herbed vinegars, etc.

These gifts do not have to cost a fortune. In fact, I keep a couple large gift boxes in a spare closet that house smaller items that I've found all year round. These items can be found during sales or clearances where they're worth $20 but you've paid less than $5 and you'll leave an impression. This also makes birthday, Christmas and hostess gifts a breeze. I also stock up on lots of thank you and other note cards that I've picked up on sale as well as stamps so I can send off a note in no time.

If you have been invited to a potluck and were asked to bring a specific item, in this case you've done your duty. Anything extra after that point is just strictly up to your own discretion but is not at all required as you are helping the host create her menu.

Here is a link to some great hostess gifts at ApartmentTherapy.com. Check them out!

If you have some great host/hostess gift ideas I'd love to hear them!

Thanks for reading!

XO