Sharing Our Exciting News with the World!!

"L" is also for.....

Love

Life-Changing

Lullabyes

Learning

Looking forward to meeting our precious gift

Luminous Glow

Lots of Cravings

Laughter

Light of our world

I am beyond thrilled to finally share with you all that Paul and I are expecting our first child this summer! :) We found out just before Christmas (it was the evening before we left for a cruise to be exact. It was challenging but I kept it a secret from hubby for a few days so he could be surprised on Christmas Eve during our trip-I loved his reaction.) We kept tight-lipped for a while and finally began sharing the news with our closest family at 6 weeks after it was officially confirmed by the doctor and then began telling our friends at about 12 weeks as I entered the 'safe' zone and got closer to the second trimester. 

We heard baby Davis' heartbeat at 12 weeks and recorded it on my smart phone. My sniffles can be heard on the audio as I wiped away tears, I had dreamed for so long about what that day would be like. As baby's heart beat fast our hearts raced with joy and anticipation as we wait to meet our little one. 

So far I've taken belly photos at 5, 9 ,12 and 14 weeks. I'm trying to take a new photo every 2 weeks now to document my progress sharing it via Facebook with my friends and family back home who I will not see during this time. I recently just turned 15 weeks and bought a much-needed DSLR camera so I'm excited to hopefully get some better quality photos than I had with my point and shoot camera. :) 

{A pic of hubby & I on Christmas Eve when it was only us two that knew.}

In terms of my health, while I endured a bit of light morning sickness from weeks six to twelve, I've had really high energy since the beginning and have felt pretty great for the most part- I credit a big part of that to healthy eating, exercise and a fantastic whole food-based prenatal vitamin. I still fit into all of my clothes which is a plus as my belly growth has progressed slowly. I have purchased a few cute maternity items though for the coming months that I'm actually looking forward to wearing. ;)

{ This is a fairly recent photo of me taken at 12 weeks in our front hallway.}

I'm so grateful for all of you who follow along here at 'The Classy Woman' and always enjoy reading your comments and feedback. As I move into this new phase of my life in the coming months, you can still look forward to many of our regular posts as well as some new posts on etiquette, manners, fashion and more as it pertains to pregnancy and being a new mom which I know many of you will be able to relate to. As an interior decorator, I'm already working on the floor plan layout and nursery design schemes for each gender and I'll be sharing the finished space here with you all as well once it's complete. I'm really looking forward to sharing this journey with you all!

Any other pregnant mamas-to-be out there? When are you due? For all the moms out there-what was your favorite part of being pregnant? What month did you notice that your bump became really obvious? I look forward to hearing what you all have to say. :)

As always, thanks for reading!

XO

Manners Monday: Responding to an Invitation

Now that the holiday season is in full swing, you may have begun receiving invitations (both formal and casual) to spend Christmas Day with your extended family, for holiday parties and other events including New Year's Eve parties, etc.

For some, the question of food and other invited guests come to mind, especially food if there are allergies or dietary restrictions but even so there is always an appropriate way to handle it. A perfect example of this is what my husband and I experienced just recently over Thanksgiving. Every year we get invited to spend Thanksgiving Day with my in-laws and we always bring a few dishes to contribute and lighten the burden on cooking. This year however, hubby's Aunt & Uncle invited us, they happen to live right around the corner which was nice as it made cooking and transporting food very easy for us.

Over the past year Paul has made some dietary changes and is now mostly vegan but still indulges in some wild caught fish here and there. I'm much more flexible and always make exceptions for holiday meals but typically eat a mostly vegetarian diet 5 days per week and have a bit of fish, poultry or meat as well. We also both work hard to make sure that almost all of our produce is organic. We make these choices because optimal health is our goal. Upon getting the invite, my first thought was what hubby would eat? Knowing that his family really loves meat, poultry and southern style dishes. Since we live close by he and I discussed what we could do to prepare to make his meal enjoyable and still feel included at the same time while not making anyone else feel uncomfortable. One of the options was for him to eat a meal before we popped over so he wasn't starving.

We knew we would make it work and most of all it was family time that we were most looking forward to so food was secondary. I replied and let his aunt know how much we appreciated the invitation and really looked forward to seeing everyone. Knowing what an undertaking it can be to host a large dinner, I offered to bring some dishes of her choosing. She was planning to provide the main course as well as the dessert and everyone attending was asked to bring 2 dishes to share and a list was provided. I volunteered to bring a few veggie dishes because we love healthy veggies and it would ensure that any veggies that hubby could eat would contain olive oil and not butter or any other dairy. His Aunt asked me at one point if Paul would be making an exception by eating turkey for Thanksgiving and I let her know that he would not be. Since she asked, I took the opportunity to let her know not wot worry or be at all concerned about him and that what I would be bringing would be perfect for him and everyone else. I wanted to put her mind at ease as a hostess already has many others things to consider.

On Thanksgiving day I brought over roasted turnips & apples, roasted red beets as well as a mixed greens salad with my own homemade dressing and goat cheese on the side so that it would be suitable for those who cannot have dairy, and other could use the goat cheese on their salad as well as beets or as they wished. The meal was a huge success and there was such a lovely variety! Hubby ate a large share of veggies and salad but was careful to make sure everyone has some before he went back for seconds. It's more about being creative than about making others work around what will work for you. In the case of food allergies, if a close friend or family member is the host, they'll likely already be aware and be sure to get more details from you. Upon accepting the invitation, if it is a potluck you may want to bring a few of your own things so that you can customize them to your requirement. If it is not and the menu is fixed, you may have to bow out gracefully.

Currently, I know of a couple friends right now who have family members that are not on good terms with another family member or sibling and it's making the planning of Christmas dinner difficult. While everyone has their reasons for not getting along with another person, it's so important as a classy woman to rise above and be the example. It's not always easy but sometimes one must tolerate others who they do not wish to be in the presence of. It shows great maturity and is so ladylike to put differences aside and just see the good in people and enjoy the company of everyone else. Sometimes people don't make great decisions or treat others poorly, but it's usually the very time when such people need love and kindness the most. What I know for sure is hurt people, hurt people and if we can remember that we can recognize that others are not always as we seem them on the outside, perhaps their anger or lashing out comes from a deeper place of heart and they really just need a friend. When it comes to providing an RSVP to an event, it's not appropriate to ask the host who will be attending in an attempt to avoid a particular individual or group of people. If you already know that a particular person has also been invited and you just cannot muster up the ability to make it pleasant experience, it's best to politely decline.

I find people entertain less today than they used to. Many are just so busy with day to day activities that they cannot seem to make time for it. For some who like to run the show, it can be a lot of work not to mention a financial burden when hosting a larger party if it's not a potluck-style event and there is no delegation involved. For others, they just don't enjoy it. Entertaining is such a wonderful opportunity though to bring many people together and create wonderful memories. For these reasons as well as  proper etiquette I think it is so important to respond properly to an invitation to encourage the very hosts who do enjoy entertaining to continue doing so and making it worth their while.

When were are invited to an event or party, it should be considered an honor not something to dread and it is not the time to make our preferences known, the bottom line is that it should not be all about us. When we are invited into someone's home or to a particular venue, we are a guest to someone else's function. A good host knows that if the guest who is attending is not someone they know well, that they should ask about dietary needs and food allergies. If they have forgotten to do so, be a gracious guest when the event date comes and make the most of the experience.

Have you ever experienced a demanding behavior upon inviting a guest to an event? Maybe you've been the invited guest who is unsure of how to respond given one the topics we discussed above? Please begin the conversation below in the comments, I'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for reading!

XO

Manners Monday: A Guide to Holiday Etiquette

Since we're just a few short days away from Thanksgiving (hopefully you're feeling more excited than stressed) and weeks away from Christmas, what better time to do a refresher crash-course on all things related to holiday etiquette? Some of my older blog posts are the best and for many of you who are newer readers here at The Classy Woman, you may have missed out on these gems (if I do say so myself) so I'm sharing all of them again in a single post.

While I'm not sharing about how to decorate your table for Thanksgiving or how to roast a turkey (which some of you may be searching the web for), knowing how to conduct one's self in the company of others is even more important than if you get the stuffing just right. It's something every classy woman should aspire to do.

Spend a few minutes reading through all the tips in these posts below and you'll be ready to present your best and most ladylike self as a guest or hostess for turkey day (and any social gathering or holiday event for that matter).

1. HOW TO PROPERLY SET A TABLE

2. TABLE MANNERS

3. HOW TO AVOID OVERSTAYING YOUR WELCOME

4. HOW TO BE THE PERFECT HOUSE GUEST

5. ETIQUETTE FOR HOSTING HOUSE GUESTS

6. HOW TO BE A GREAT DINNER GUEST

7. THE ART OF BEING A GOOD LISTENER

8. CONVERSATION TOPICS TO AVOID

Depending on whom you are spending Thanksgiving with this year, all of these may not apply to you. However, if you're meeting new family members or someone's significant other for the first time or maybe haven't seen your family in a long time, you may find the tips on conversation helpful.

How are you planning to spend Thanksgiving this year? Will you be the hoste or a guest this year?

Thanks for reading!

XO

*image source

Criticizing Opposing Political Views isn't Classy

Here we are, it's election day. For many the outcome represents either monumental fear or reassurance regarding the future of this country (depending on how you voted). Yet for others not so emotionally invested in a particular political party, it simply represents change and a different path ahead or moving forward with much of what's already in motion. 

I think the real difference comes down to true faith in our good Lord above. When your faith is in your creator who loves you (instead of hanging your hopes on a political party or Presidential candidate to be your country's savior), things look and feel different. There is peace, trust and a gentle spirit that does not burden you with the the need to hammer your points home and put your political map on friends, family, neighbors and even strangers if they don't agree with you (hence today's reminder above on political etiquette and how a classy woman behaves during election time). In fact, it can alienate the very people we care about most, turning our viewpoints into a war zone and causing division among many long after harsh words are spoken.

I wrote these words below this morning, first on my own personal Facebook page and then moments later on The Classy Woman Facebook community page (feel free to click the link and join us if you like). My hope is that we all keep things in perspective and focus more on unity than division.

No matter what happens today, here is one final thought. His very own words were written for our eyes to see and be confident in what lies ahead. "For I know the plans I have for you, (declares the Lord) plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11.

As always, thanks for reading!

XO





*All images with text content are my own.

Manners Monday: Asking about Marriage & Babies

I originally had a different topic planned for today's Manners Monday post but after seeing the reader response on Facebook, I thought going into further detail was a good idea. If you follow The Classy Woman community on Facebook, you'll see that today I posted a Classy Tip of the Day (something I started doing a few weeks ago a few times per week) about the importance of not putting people on the spot with personal questions that they may not be prepared to answer or even know the answer to themselves. This is what I wrote:

"A lady doesn't ask couples who are dating when they're getting married. Similarly, she doesn't ask married couples when or if they're planning to have a baby. A classy woman knows that while she might be really curious about the answer, it's never polite to put someone on the spot. Instead, she waits until the couple brings the topic up themselves."

While there are always a few conversation topics to avoid in many venues, some of them we've previously discussed HERE, I think asking a woman or couple when they are planning to get married or when they're planning to start a family are two of the biggest no-no's. In this day and age when many women are at the peak of their career, are having children later in life, are unsure in this economy how they'd afford an elegant wedding or of how to raise a child, or are perhaps struggling with infertility; these well-meaning questions can actually make the woman or couple feel rather uncomfortable and at a loss for words. 

As a woman who has been married for six years but has not yet had a baby, I get asked when I'm going to have children or if I want to have children A LOT. Whether I'm at a backyard BBQ, a dinner with other ladies, or meeting someone new at a wedding, I can almost guarantee at least one person will ask. They usually begin talking about their own child or pregnancy and then say, "So, do you think you and Paul will want to have children?". I recently had someone tell me they just assumed that we had decided not to have children since so much has passed as a married couple. Ouch.

If you find yourself getting asked these questions, here are some quick suggestions on how to tactfully and cleverly answer even the most nosy person and silence your critics.

How to Answer Questions about Marriage & Children:

Question: "So, when are you guys getting married?"
Answer: "I will get married when the time is right."

Who can argue with that answer? Nobody. It also allows you to take ownership of yourself and not use the term "we" or "us" pulling your significant other into the equation or making any promises that may not happen.

Question: "When are you going to start a family?"
Answer: "We're way too busy enjoying this honeymoon time together (or enjoying this time just us two) to think about that yet!"

Who can put a timeline on how long the honeymoon phase is or the importance of just spending time together as a couple without children? Again, nobody. If you're a spiritual person, another great answer is: "We're leaving it all in God's hands, whatever he has planned for us."

Although these questions can be rather annoying after hearing them several times, try to just laugh it off and remember that someone is taking an interest in you. What I've come to realize is that for some, this is how they make conversation-they may not have a lot of interesting things going on in their own life so they pry and make the focus about other's life milestones not realizing that it is rude. I think these conversations can lead to gossip if not careful which is another reason why it's good to avoid asking these questions.

I want to hear from YOU! What are your thoughts on this topic? Has anyone (other than your mother) pressed you for details on when you're getting married or having babies? How did you respond?

XO






*photo credit

Manners Monday: Sharing Photos of Others

The past couple of weeks, my Manners Monday posts have come about as the result of those who choose to communicate in a way that lacks manners and common courtesy via social media. You'll remember my last post was about Sharing Good News with Others and today's post on taking and sharing photos of others was inspired by a Facebook status I read of an acquaintance this morning.

I like to laugh and let's face it, people in general can do some pretty silly things and can dress in really unique ways sometimes. While I'll often pass by someone on the street and and think what they're wearing makes a really bold statement or visit a client who adores her newly painted neon orange office, it is not mine nor anyone else's job to judge others or point out what we feel is horrible taste. When I opened my Facebook page this morning, I saw a post that read, "....and we're not even at Walmart yet!" It was a photo of a woman (who was a complete stranger to my acquaintance) in a very unflattering outfit with gladiator sandals that had material that spanned the majority of her calf, a super tight romper and hair all teased out with a headband that had a massive flower attached. While I admit it was somewhat amusing and I know her intent was to spark some Monday morning humor and comments, this is the equivalent to gossiping, but in photo form. Sharing unflattering photos or information with others is not at all classy or ladylike.

There are many who feel that because they own a camera or smartphone and have taken it upon themselves to take a photo that they have a license to share it with others or post it, regardless of how the one being photographed might feel. If you want to take a photo of someone or something that belongs to that someone, such as their pet or their super cute baby, it is always best to ask permission first. If you wouldn't feel comfortable explaining why you want to take their photo, it probably means you should slip that camera back into your handbag and focus on something else.

Maybe you've spent the day with friends or family and many will eagerly be awaiting the photos from a fun-filled event on various sites such as Facebook or perhaps via Instagram. If you see a particularly unflattering photo of someone but you look amazing in it, don't post the photo as tempting as it may be. Crop everyone else out of the picture and post it with just yourself if you must, but do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. Be respectful with photos and don't make people look ridiculous when you know that is not a good representation of them.

As always when you're sharing images via social media such as Facebook where you have the ability to tag others, don't do it unless you ask the other people if they would like to be tagged or until they ask you to tag them. More {HERE}on tagging and Facebook Etiquette. When it comes to minors and small children, make sure you have the parents' permission before posting, for safety reasons.

Also, be mindful that if you are meeting a newborn baby of a friend or family member for the first time (perhaps immediately after the delivery) that it is not a good idea to begin posting photos online. It is a precious and momentous occasion for the happy parents and they will want to announce to the world via photos their bundle of joy, don't beat them to the punch and steal their thunder, unless they've asked you to do so on their behalf for a particular reason.

Has anyone ever posted a photo of you that you were horrified to discover or without your permission? What are YOUR thoughts on photo sharing?

XO




*Photo Credit

The Definition of Good Manners

We talk about manners here a lot on this blog and while many of us know what good manners are in terms of behavior and the basics such as saying please and thank you or holding the door open for others, I think this quote above by Emily Post sums up what good manners consist of. Being well mannered stems from one's ability to be aware, kind and considerate of another's feelings before speaking or acting. In essence, a classy woman's good manners put others at ease, making them feel drawn to her and comfortable in her presence. Isn't that how we all want to feel and make others feel also?

Today's post is super short, you all know I can write encyclopedia-length posts at times so I'm trying to deliver more bite-sized messages for you. I hope you're having a great week so far! I'll be announcing the winner tomorrow for the Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway, if you haven't entered to win yet you have until 11pm tonight! Good Luck! {Here} is a link to the gorgeous red dress up for grabs! :)

 One last thing, I haven't made a formal announcement here yet (only tweeted about it and shared on Facebook) but I wanted to let you all know that I have some ad spaces available and if you buy our regular size ad space now it'll be a very affordable $8 for 30 days-a 60% discount to kick of the summer! :) Rates go back up on July.1st so click {here} if you are interested, just 2 more days left! I'd love to show your page off to my readers- it's a great way to advertise your blog, Etsy shop, website, business, Facebook page, etc., to get new readers & customers!

XO

Manners Monday: Holding Doors Open for Others

Happy Monday! Did everyone have a nice Father's Day weekend? As I mentioned here my father and I live on opposite coasts so I sent him a package early last week and we made a point of catching up twice last week via Skype so that was our visit time. :)

As promised, I'm beginning our week with a Manners Monday post. Given several run-ins I've had over the past few weeks, I thought it was about time I did a little post about the importance of holding the door for others. We began the conversation in The Classy Woman Facebook community and I decided to bring this topic to the blog. (If you haven't joined yet, be sure to like my page as I post there daily and join the conversation!)

How you treat others says a lot about you as a person. Everybody appreciates a polite act like having the door held open for them. This act of kindness is not just reserved for men. It is important that everyone know how to hold a door for another, whether they are carrying heavy bags or just passing through empty handed. Once we have mastered it, we must teach it to our children that they might lead the future generation by example.

 5 Tips on How to Properly Hold a Door for Others


1. Who to Hold a Door For- Hold the door for everyone, whenever the occasion arises. Some reserve this polite gesture only for the elderly,  a mother with a stroller/small children or in the case of men they hold they door open for ladies and not gents. Regardless of a person's age or sex it is proper and thoughtful to hold the door for someone else.

2. How Long to Wait for Someone Walking?- Generally speaking, when walking up to a door with someone behind you or coming from the other side of the door, the time spent holding the door is extremely minimal so it is one of the easiest and most thoughtful things we can do for another. Sometimes we'll notice an elderly person several 20 feet away and feel compelled to hold the door for them. Do remember that in your waiting for them, it sometimes makes someone feel as though they now must speed up to get there instead of just keep on at the pace they are comfortable with, use discretion so one doesn't view your efforts as a nuisance more than a blessing.

3. Make Door Opening Less Awkward-Sometimes we are met with someone who holds the door for us by extending their arm to push the door open as we are to squeeze past them. This type of door holding while thoughtful can be awkward. The best way to hold a door for someone upon meeting the door first is to pull it towards you and stand to the side and let the other person/people through then follow them after they have walked through. If you happen upon a door that opens away from you, walk through it and stand to the side out of the way as others walk through then let the door go once everyone has walked through.

4. Do it With a Smile- I think many times people go about things in a mannerly fashion as if it is expected of them (if they were raised that way) but it appears there is no joy in it. I think it is so important to do things with a smile whether thanking a cashier and wishing her a nice day, saying good morning or holding the door for someone. The classy woman is warm and desires to improve another person's day. She does not view manners as tedious tasks that she endures so that she won't be looked upon as rude. Rather, she regards manners as kindness granted to another just because they too are human and deserve to be treated as such.

5. Don't Expect a Thank You- I say this because if you don't expect it, you won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. While it is nice and often rewarding to hear the words "thank you" when we have taken the time to do something nice for others, our efforts and manners are their own reward. Personally speaking, I have sometimes felt annoyed after having held a door for someone who was struggling with a stroller or heavy packages and didn't receive so much as a nod or a smile. I'm sure you can relate. I've learned that there are always going to be people that disregard polite gestures or don't respond the way you might have hoped or. Don't let it get you down!

For some who practice good manners and are not met with a thank you, it can be enough to think why bother and forget making the polite gestures altogether. But if your true motives for doing the good deed are pure and joy is in your heart to truly assist another then your reasons should outweigh any rude folks you come across. Besides, the world needs more people like you to carry on and lead by positive example in a time when basic manners seem to be at an all time low.

Have a great week ladies! Pssst....I have an awesome this week that I'm really excited about and you do not want to miss! Be sure to check in again soon. :)



*images: (1), (2)

Manners Monday: Elevator Etiquette

While spending quite a bit of time riding elevators recently during this last cruise, I realized that what might seem common courtesy to most, is not, as many did not use proper elevator etiquette on our ship. Even the Comedian aboard our ship incorporated this lack of manners in his routine by informing everyone that it is polite to let everyone off first before attempting to enter an elevator. 

Upon getting to the Ft. Lauderdale airport to grab a rental car and head home, we were greeting by a woman who was trying to force her bags into the elevator we were in without even taking into account the fact that we were trying to get off on her floor. Whether in an office building, airport, residential elevator, or hotel, I've personally experienced this lack of manners numerous times so I got to thinking it might be time to make this the next Manners Monday post.

How to Ride a Lift: Proper Elevator Etiquette

1. How to Enter an Elevator-While waiting to board, stand away from the door. Under no circumstances should you enter unless you are sure no one is getting off on your floor. If someone needs to get off, allow them the space to do so before attempting to board. The people exiting the elevator ALWAYS have the right-of-way.

In general those standing closest to the door should be allowed to board first. Gentlemen should allow ladies to board first if it is practical. Determine if there is enough room for you and your buffer space before entering, each person should have double their size for personal space.

During busy times, you may have to board a car that is crowded. Wait for others to invite you in either verbally or by making room for you, don't insist on entering a crowded car that makes everyone uncomfortable. If you are with others, you may have to wait for another car or separate so you can all reach the destination floor in a timely manner.

2. Where to Stand Inside the Elevator- Always stand as close to a wall as possible. Consider your destination stop and stand towards the back if you are going to a high floor. If you will be getting off shortly, stand toward the front. Always be sure to face the elevator doors, it's poor etiquette to have your back facing the elevator door and essentially staring a stranger in the face, that invades someone's private space. Leave ample space between yourself and other passenger and do not make eye contact.

If you end up standing near the buttons, be aware that you may become responsible for pressing the floor buttons for others. Be sure to offer to press the buttons for those entering the elevator after you. This protocol alleviates people trying to reach across others and makes it easy for those who cannot reach it. Regardless of your location, if you are asked by another to press a button, it is proper to follow that request or inform the person standing closest if it isn't you. 

3. Do's & Don'ts Inside an Elevator

Do not keep others waiting by holding the door for someone that you are waiting upon. In an empty elevator it is considered polite to hold the doors for someone that is running toward the car.

If you are using an elevator while under the weather, consider waiting for an empty elevator car. Germs can be transferred very easily in close quarters so if you have to cough or sneeze, keep your mouth covered and refrain from touching the buttons if at all possible. 

It is NEVER acceptable to smoke in an elevator.

If you board an elevator with your significant other,  do not engage in a public display of affection while there are other passengers present, hand-holding is appropriate. Intimate relations in an empty elevator are not at all appropriate. Nobody will want to see what you two were up to when the doors open. Never use the emergency stop button for the purpose of getting intimate, save it for the bedroom.

Conversations in elevators are generally discouraged. However, if you began a conversation before getting into the elevator, especially with a colleague or someone getting off on a floor different from your destination, be sure to lower your voice and finish it as quickly as you can. Those who follow cell phone etiquette know that mobile phone conversations are a no-no, end them before you get into an elevator where you're not likely to maintain reception anyhow.

While striking up conversations with strangers in an elevator is not proper protocol, it is acceptable and a nice gesture to say "good morning" or "hello" upon entering out of politeness, but it is by no means necessary.

If you need to take  luggage onto an elevator, wait for an empty car if possible. If the car you enter is occupied, before entering make sure there is enough room for both you and your bags without violating others' personal space. Try to remain close to the doors with baggage to eliminate inconveniencing others by having them shift for your sake.

4. Riding in an Elevator with Children

Keep children close to you at all times and don't allow them to move or touch other passengers. If you have a baby with a "full" diaper that you can smell, or a small child that is throwing a tantrum, taking a stroller up the stairs is not an option so it's best to do everyone a favor and wait for the next empty car.

It's best not to encourage small children to press the numbered panel for your own floor while other riders are present. If they press more than your number, you'll be stopping at every floor and the other passengers will not be impressed.

5. How to Exit an Elevator

Gentlemen should allow ladies to exit the elevator first unless they are blocking the doors on a crowded elevator.

In a crowded elevator, when you are not close to the door, politely announce to others that the it's your floor and excuse yourself while making your way through the crowd, do not push.

If you are standing in the middle of the exit and the passenger who needs to exit, move out of the way as best as you can. It may sometimes be necessary to actually exit the elevator, allow them to leave and then re-enter. You might want to let others in the car know you'll be getting back on so the door doesn't close without you.

What's the most common lack of etiquette you've encountered while riding an elevator?

*images: (1) (2)

Etiquette for Quitting Your Job Gracefully

Over the years as I've worked for various companies it's been interesting to watch as certain individuals make their exit from a company and how they handle themselves.

As I find myself in this very situation at the moment of moving onto greener pastures (and it's one that most of us will deal with at one time or another) I wanted to share the proper etiquette of leaving a company with style and grace.


1. Giving Notice- I don't know of a single employer that wouldn't be thankful that you gave the appropriate amount of notice. Two weeks is the standard however other jobs do require more time to fill your position. Be sure to review your company's handbook if you are unsure and give as much notice as you possibly can. It's also appropriate to provide a letter of resignation, which leaves things on a positive note as you thank the company for the opportunity and share how you've grown career-wise.

No matter how stressful or horrific your working environment might have become for you, it's not okay to just stop showing up or arrive in the morning announcing on the spot that you are quitting. Usually such declarations are emotional ones that aren't always thought through. Sleep on it if you feel this way (I've been there a couple times myself where I've felt like walking out but I pressed on and found myself there weeks/months later making a much more dignified exit when the time came).

 Sometimes in life we have the best intentions but a wonderful opportunity presents itself with time limits. Do your best to gain as much time as you can before jumping ship, letting the new employer know that you pride yourself in being respectful and professional. Given that they'd probably prefer the same level of respect, they should be able to work with you. If not, (depending on your role and degree of responsibility) you may wish to put together a small reference book or manual to make it easier for the company and the new employee who will fill your shoes. At the end of the day it's your future, so don't let a great opportunity pass you by if a current employer is giving your grief over not quite providing the full notice. Nothing is perfect in life, know that you did all that you could.

2. Keep Quiet About Quitting- It's hard not to share great news when you land the job of your dreams but it's best to keep things hush hush around other employees until you tell your boss. Should word get out and it is not from you firsthand, it will create uncomfortable interaction with your boss and it is not at all professional. Plan in advance how you'll share your news, rehearse if you have to and create talking points so you don't end up rambling or saying something that you might be unhappy with later. Your message should be consistent across the board. In other words, don't tell your colleagues one thing and your boss another.


3. Business as Usual- One of the most disappointing things I've witnessed is colleagues that have given notice and even though they are still on company time, they choose to slack off; act as if the company's rules don't still apply to them, wear overly casual or inappropriate work attire, rack up expenses or steal office supplies. I've also noticed that some show up late and call in sick multiple times when they are not to take time off before their new job and generally take on a 'do as little as possible' attitude, particularly if they grew tired of the company or their role.

Being a professional, elegant woman means ending your time with the same work ethic that you came in with. The classy woman is hardworking, she represents the company and herself well at all times and doesn't draw too much attention to herself after making he intentions to leave known. She avoids spending hours of precious work time gossiping and discussing her transition with colleagues. There is nothing wrong with sharing some details about the new job with a very close co-worker that one lunches with daily, but it must kept outside of the office and only if it is someone that can be trusted to be discrete.

4. Exit Gracefully- Within many companies it's not uncommon to have a boss want to sit down with you for an exit interview.  They may be curious why you are leaving, some may even ask what they can do to change your mind so you’ll stay and may offer you a salary increase, etc. (I've experienced this a few times in the past, which is always a nice compliment). It's best to keep things on a high note. Even if you and your peers or management did not see eye-to-eye, this is not the time to tell your boss how you really feel. Your final impressions are everything and linger on long after you're gone, so keep it short and sweet and to the point. In the age of LinkedIn and other career building and social networking sites, it may be to your advantage to keep them in your corner for future related opportunities.

5. Focus on the Positives- In most job transition scenarios there isn't much time other than perhaps a weekend between your old job and your shiny new opportunity. Be careful not to carry baggage or negative energy to the new company if things didn't end the way you had hoped. Take everything wonderful that you've learned and use it to your advantage. Perhaps the company was often unprofessional or disorganized but offered great sales training. Be thankful for what you received and what that previous opportunity offered. Perhaps it was a job that pushed you to the limits in every conceivable way, however it likely prepared you in a greater way for the one you'll be moving onto next or something else further in time. There are so many areas of personal development and growth from time management, networking, customer relationships, business relationships to communication skills, and the list goes on. Make a list of what you learned and are grateful for. Even if you did not feel challenged and disliked the position, be thankful for the paycheck it provided.

Be sure to thank anyone that you've worked with who helped you along the way, made your life easier (ie: your assistant) and those that made your working environment a positive or happy place to go into work (if it was).  In my remaining time at my current job I can think of several individuals who made me laugh regularly and those that made the not-so-great days at work so much better. One lady in particular who calls me her 'work BFF' will be getting a big hug on my last day. It's so lovely to have met someone that in the past 7.5 months I can call a sweet friend.

I'd love to hear how you gracefully transitioned to a new position, company or how you may have made it easier for the person filling your shoes upon your departure.

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Manners Monday: Respecting Other People's Time

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Do you have that one friend that is always late no matter where and when you meet them? While many in this world value money, there is something to be said about the importance of time. Given enough of it, we can accomplish great things, it can also be taken away from us by those who lack manners and do not grasp the concept of keeping their word, and respecting the time of others.

By showing up on time you keep both your day and the other person's whom you committed to, running smoothly. Whether it is a doctor's appointment or a dinner date, it is essential to be prompt. You cannot be a classy woman and chronically show up 15-20 minutes late for everything, running through life with your hair on fire!

The past few weeks of Manners Monday have been dedicated to communication. By showing up on time you reveal to others and non-verbally communicate the fact that you value them and their time. Unfortunately the opposite is also true-arrive late and you'll confirm to others that you do not value and respect them or their time. This may sound harsh but it's the truth. What's amazing to me is the many people that will drive over the speed limit and break all the rules to get to a hair appointment on time but those very same people are okay with letting their friends wait on them as they arrive 15 minutes late for brunch. We know that in general, people tend to treat strangers better than they treat their own family sometimes, but there should not be two sets of standards. Respect is respect, anyway you look at it.

I have a couple of these people in my life-one is a very close family member and the other is an acquaintance. The family member is somewhat lonely and tends to disrespect my time in a different way- she tends to keep me hanging on the phone just as I'm trying to get off. I've had to say, "I love you and I've really enjoyed our talk, but I have to get going, I'm meeting a client, etc." Every time it's the same thing, I've come to expect it. I have to make phone calls to her when I have a lot of free time and she gets disappointed that I don't call her often even though I've explained why in a polite way a few times now. There are some people that may never 'get it', they are generally a bit more self absorbed and in my experience generally think the world is all about them, their experiences and their problems. They are the people that I tend to limit my time with, especially when I'm busy.

I have an acquaintace that I would say was more of a friend at one time, however after multiple times of leaving our ladies group hanging and canceling a dinner at the last minute as well as showing up 30 minutes late for get togethers, I started to feel as if she didn't respect mine or anyone else's time. One time she had arranged a dinner with a group of us that she hadn't seen in a while and was the only one not to attend, cancelling after I had called to ask if she was running late. We still loosely keep in touch but we'll never be close for the simple reason that I refuse to give up my time to someone who so clearly does not respect it or me.

Some people don't realize how their self-centered "me" attitude can alienate others from them resulting in broken down friendships and the inability to even attract someone worthwhile as a mate. They always seem to have a million exuses such as "I wasn't feeling well", which is understandable, that is part of life but when it's a regular excuse, it can get old fast. Others say they were "caught in traffic", the kids kept them or their 'spouse' slowed them down (which I know does happen! I started telling dear hubby that we had to leave 30 mins prior to when we actually needed to leave and fixed that problem fast at our house). However, by always giving yourself more time (20 minutes is usually adequate) and not scheduling too many things too closely together you will likely never be late for work or anything else again..

Promising to show up to volunteer, be present at an an event, or meet others and then back out at the last minute is extremely rude, especially when others are counting on you. None of us are perfect, I'm certainly not- I've had my moments where I've lost track of time and shown up 10 minutes late to something that I really wanted to be early for. By making a phone call you can at least inform the other person of what to expect, even if it's 5 minutes that you'll be late, it is a courtesy to the other person so they know what is happening.

Maybe it means setting your alarm a little earlier in the morning or giving yourself that 20 minute buffer. Maybe it's time to take a few things off of the to-do list so you can make all of your appointments on time. Either way, not only will other people feel respected but you will feel better about yourself too. I don't know anyone who feels good about letting someone else down which is essentially what is happening when time is trampled on.

For casual functions I generally tend to show up 5 minutes early to the actual time of the event. For formal functions like an interview, wedding or meeting a design client I'm always really early-sometimes I park around the corner from a client's home and read or check phone messages until five minutes prior when I'll loop around and park near their home, because I know how it feels when people show up at my door too early. ;)

How about YOU? Are you usually super early, chronically late or right on time?

Manners Monday: Conversation Topics to Avoid

Welcome back to the Manners Monday series! Today I'll be sharing how we relate to others-particularly strangers and acquaintances whether it be at a party or a work function as it pertains to topics of conversation.

During the summer I've had the opportunity to attend several parties, backyard BBQ's and other events. With such events comes the meeting of new people, often friends of friends. While some might want to pour their heart out to a friend over recent events in our life, we must refrain from doing so with those that we've just met. In addition, there are many great conversation starters and various topics that are completely acceptable, on the contrary there are also many to steer clear of as well.

I want to begin on a positive note, here are some great topics to focus on as you are newly introduced to someone or engage in conversation with strangers.

If you're being introduced, hopefully the host will have mentioned something that he/she knew you had in common. If that isn't the case, one of the best ways to begin a conversation at an event is to ask how they know the host or person being honored at the event. You can never go wrong here since you already have something in common by being in the same place, and it is bound to open the door to more commonality that you can branch off of.

Begin by asking other questions, avoid talking all about yourself out of nervous habit. Be aware of questions that are very personal such as health or relationship troubles, status, etc. Instead, you can ask about a new movie, tv show, a new restaurant in the area, local happenings or compliment them on something you truly admire such as their shoes or handbag. I don't know anyone that doesn't enjoy a genuine compliment and it is bound to start a conversation in the direction of something you are both interested in.

The particular mood of the event should match the tone of conversation. If you're at a funeral, that is not the best time to talk about your date the night before or your upcoming trip to the Caribbean. On the flip side, if you're at a lively party, it is not a good time to discuss the details of your divorce or the death of a loved one.

When you are conversing in  a group, it is important to let everyone have a turn to speak but also to speak about topics that everyone can enjoy. Speaking to a group of 6 about something that only you and one of your colleagues can relate too is a sure way to not only bore the group but make them feel like outsiders.

"Conversation is the art of never appearing a bore, of knowing how to say everything interestingly, to entertain with no matter what, to be charming with nothing at all."

~Guy de Maupassant

 

6 Topics to be Mindful Of:

1. Sex-Although there are many people of all ages who feel completely comfortable sharing their escapades with perfect strangers, it can be perceived by many as inappropriate and distasteful. What one finds completely acceptable, another might view as being completely disgusting. It's best to keep this topic under wraps. It's also a good idea to avoid discussing adultery or making comments and gossiping about couples that you know of who are in that predicament. You never know if someone else may know someone you know. Besides, gossiping is just not classy.

2. Money- Among close friends and in private, this isn't as much of a faux pas but in the company of strangers, discussing money has a tendency to make others feel uncomfortable. For someone that doesn't have much of it, they might start to feel inadequate and it will cause them to now focus on it instead of enjoy their surroundings. Also, the person discussing it will just come across as materialistic which is never a good quality in anyone. It is never acceptable to ask anyone how much they earn likewise, it is best to leave the details of your salary out of the equation.  If you want to ask a trusted friend to compare and ensure you are being paid what you are worth, do so privately, not in the company of others. Even then, your friend might not be interested in divulging that information so use discretion there. Again, avoid idle gossip or discussing the financial situation of others. This happens a lot in families and in circles of friends but it truly is none of anyone else's business.

3. Religion- This topic should probably come as no surprise, but I'm still amazed at the amount of people that feel the need to push their opinions and religious practices on others, especially complete strangers! A person's faith is a personal decision and nobody should be made to feel bad about it. There are those that truly do have more interest and questions rather than than comments, but asking the same person mulitple questions could start to feel like they are on trial and they may not want to be subject to that line of questioning and being responsible to represent a whole faith group. This is especially true if this same religion has been recently under attack in the media. While you don't need to avoid it completely, it's best to tread lightly with this one unless you are at church with others that share your same beliefs.

4. Health Issues- We all discuss health at some point-eating better, choosing organic, how to avoid x,y, or z. But aside from your close friends or your physician, it's best to keep this topic to a minimum. Avoid all conversation around extended illness and surgeries. It can be a depressing topic that doesn't do much in the way of maintaining an upbeat environment. If you're at an event surrounding food or at a party, it is best to avoid speaking on anything pertaining to this topic, you wouldn't want to turn someone off of food for the evening.

5. Politics-A favorite conversation of many that often gets carried away and can greatly offend others. It is best to avoid asking strangers which political party they support, who they are going to vote for and/or why. While often deep and lively, conversation around politics can stir some great debates and  can leave a few feeling attacked if not handled carefully.

Conversations around politics are usually best brought up around friends or close family members that know how you feel and won't be offended by your personal stance as they you know it is just a debate rather than attack on their personal character if you don't share the same political interest.

6. Family & Siblings- This last one might come as a bit of a surprise, however you'd be amazed at the amount of people that have had sibling rivalries, grew up with a sibling that was the 'favorite' or had less-than-wonderful memories of their childhood upbringing as it pertains to their parents. When asked about their extended family or if they have any siblings, it could bring up a lot of negative emotions and unresolved issues that they may not be prepared to discuss. It is best to avoid asking this topic unless they bring it up. Likewise, asking a married couple if/when they plan on having children might seem completely innocent but could bring up feelings of inadequacy and sadness if they are having difficulty conceiving.

With the holiday season quickly approaching, I thougtht I'd share a really neat gift-giving idea which is great as a conversation starter during dinner and house parties. Table Topics is a company offers numerous decks of cards that are great for parties or the dinner table. I also thought these placecards were a neat and affordable option too.This would also make a fun DIY project/gift for someone too by using fun cardstock designs and creating your own conversation questions.

As with all topics in the Manners Monday series, this is  by no means a complete list, but my hope is that it may help you think about topics of conversation in a new way or serves as a little refresher. What topics of conversation do discuss with perfect strangers or new acquaintances? Which ones do you completely avoid and why?

I'd love to hear your personal experiences and what YOU have to say, leave a comment and let us know! :)


XO