Eliminating the Weeds in Your Life

I don't know about you but over the years I've had to let a few relationships die along the way to get to where I am today. While it wasn't easy in the moment, it was so necessary. If certain friends or family members aren't willing to love, support, encourage and uplift you or are just really negative and toxic, it's time to stop watering those relationships and spend time pouring into those who feed you. Sometimes it's a person that is extremely needy and just sucks the life out of you with their constant problems and often drama they bring upon themselves. Life is too short to be held back by those who aren't happy in their own life and take it out on others, looking for company in their misery.

Some will argue "but she's my sister" or "I've known her since kindergarten" and feel a sense of obligation.  While these things might be true, if you're not being treated right by the person in question of you don't feel happy, at ease or yourself around this person any longer, it might be time to have a talk. Many times in friendships and other relationships simply making a point of discussing something that is bothering you will remedy the problem. Other times, they might be too prideful to admit their wrongdoing to repair a relationship so it can continue. When you've been patient then taken it upon yourself to tell the other person how they are making you feel and there is no response, it may be time to move on. It doesn't mean you cannot ever be friends in the future, it just means that perhaps you both need a break. Maybe the other person will realize that they miss your friendship enough to work on themselves to repair what was once a beautiful and treasured relationship. Other times it may in fact be the best to move on and not look back.

It's definitely not always easy, but when you do this you'll feel a lightness as if a huge burden has been lifted off your shoulders. If you feel that and don't really feel a sense of the friendship missed, it's pretty clear that they weren't meant to be in your life any longer. It's liberating to live authentically, know what you stand for, what's important to you and to act accordingly, that you will not continue to put yourself in a negative environment that feels more like work than enjoyment.

As we prepare to enter a new season in just a few weeks, now might be a good time to look at your life and determine what's working, what and who bring you joy as well as those that do not and move in a direction that allows you to get the most out of your life so you won't become entangled by any weeds that exist. You deserve to be HAPPY! :)

Is there anyone right now that is a 'weed' in your life instead of a flower. Are there any flowers that aren't getting enough of your time because it's being spent watering the weeds?

Happy Weekend!


XO




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Do You Want to be Right or Reconciled?

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As individuals, we are all unique. We all have our own interests, beliefs and opinions. Sometimes the greatest challenges we face with others pertains to differences of opinion or thoughts that someone has that we just cannot understand, relate to or accept. I've seen so many families and friendships torn apart by differences of opinion that lead to resentment and anger.

Last week I bumped into an acquaintance and we had a great talk. During that conversation I learned that she has not spoken to her mother for 5 years because of an unresolved incident that occurred years ago. She seemed to still hold a lot of anger about the situation as if it had happened yesterday.

 I guess I get a little more sentimental during the holiday season, with thoughts of family and togetherness. I felt sad for her. Sad because if they continue to hold this grudge there may come a time where they might not get a chance to say the words they truly want to say to one another. We never know exactly how long we have on this earth, life is precious and short. I encouraged her that day to call her mom and I asked her, 'How would you feel if that was the very last conversation you got to have with her?" She got quiet, looked sad and seemed to ponder what I had just asked her but didn't reply. The truth is that almost everyone we know has had some sort of falling out with someone in their lifetime-be it their parents, siblings, neighbor, a friend or even a colleague, big or small.

Let us not create such high walls of pride that we miss out on the very joy of the most precious relationships around us. In our house, when hubby and I don't agree and one tries to convince the other that our way is better than the other's we have a phrase that we use to keep each other on track and accountable.

"Do you want to be right or reconciled?"

Usually after that we realize the silliness and triviality of what we were disagreeing upon in the first place and I would far rather be reconciled and living in love than holding a grudge, competing with or feeling bitter towards my husband. That doesn't mean that when he asks me that, it doesn't irk me for a second or two, especially when I'm feeling really passionate about something.

As December has arrived and the holiday season is upon us, I encourage you to seek restoration in your own friendships and family where things may have become strained somewhere along the way. Sometimes we try and try and it seems as if nothing will work or get the other person to break down their walls but persistence does pay off.  If this doesn't apply to you maybe you can be the voice in a friend's life that encourages them to do just that. It may be the best Christmas gift that you could give to them this season.

Happy Weekend!