Summer is nearly here and Wedding season is in full swing! I was inspired to write a blog after overhearing two women discussing what to wear to a wedding after trying clothes on in the change rooms next to me.
Here are some etiquette tips that will ensure you are one of the classiest guests at the wedding.
1. Be sure to respond promptly to a wedding invitation. Many guest lists are very small and your non-attendance could mean that the couple might be able to send out another invite to someone else. Also, if you were invited and cannot attend, it is customary to send a gift to the couple before the wedding day. Money gifts are quite common and the rule of thumb is usually the cost per plate at the wedding. If you and your spouse were invited you'll want to double that number, if your plus one is a boyfriend, then you only need to pay for what your plate cost would be. The average cost is around $100 per plate depending on how expensive the wedding is and how well the couple negotiated with their venue.
2. Follow directions on the invitation regarding attire. If the invite does not specify a particular dress code, then consider it either day or evening formal wear. It is always better to be more dressed up than less. Some women like to show off their curves, sexy legs or other body parts and there is a place for that-usually the gym or the beach-not at a wedding. Err on the side of conservative. You can still dress in something a bit trendy but weddings are generally formal affairs not fashion shows. So, leave your hot pink silettos at home!
3. Avoid bringing a gift to the actual ceremony. You can always pop over to your car and grab the gift on the way into the reception. Another common practice is to deliver a gift to the bride and/or groom's personal residence the day before. There is so much happening during the big day that things can get forgotten in the shuffle.
4. If the couple has registered at a particular store, make every effort to select something that they have chosen. You know it is something they need and it will be much more straightforward for you as well.
5. If you are part of the wedding party, expect to be filled with responsibilities right up until the couple's big day. Carry these tasks out with good humor. If there has been a specific outfit chosen for you to wear, it is your duty to wear it without a single complaint, regardless what your opinion is of it. The couple is under enough stress, this will only add to it.
6. Once at the reception, it is considered proper etiquette to mingle and get to know some of the other guests like you would at any other party. Be courteous, ask a few questions like, "How do you know the bride and groom?" or "Isn't this a beautiful wedding (or wedding venue)? just to break the ice.
7. At many formal weddings, assigned seating has been created and very carefully arranged and indicated with place cards and a seating chart. Some casual weddings will have an assigned table for you but you can sit next to whomever you like at the table. At my own semi-formal wedding a particular guest took it upon themself to sit at a completely separate table and it threw off the seating plan for my extended family leaving my mom wondering where to sit! This should never happen.
8. In the tradition of weddings and the fun that can be enjoyed at them, it is highly recommended to experience all you can there. Why not tour the beautiful property ground while you're taking a break from dancing or explore the venue's wine cellar, etc. Be sure to taste every dish (unless you are allergic) when the food is delivered to your table. The bride and groom have probably spend quite a bit of money on their wedding and want everyone to enjoy themselves. Even if you finish what is on your plate, at least have a taste. The same holds true for cake (unless you are allergic or diabetic) have a small piece and celebrate with the happy couple, you don't have to eat the whole piece.
9. Whether you are in the wedding party or you are a guest, do your very best to arrive on time. If you are a close family member the bride may be waiting for your arrival before heading to the ceremony. You wouldn't want to be the one responsible for holding up the wedding! Whether you live hours away, are arriving by plane of are minutes from the ceremony, be sure to give yourself extra time.
10. While at the Reception, you'll want to congratulate the newly married couple. At larger weddings the bride typically spends a lot of time going from table to table or from person to person thanking guests. Make her job easier and go to her and/or the groom, and give them some sincere well wishes for their future.
You're all set to be the perfect guest!